The Girl Who Knows

A/N DON'T READ IF YOU'RE EASILY TRIGGERED. Don't read if you've even self harmed or thought of killing yourself. You're loved and if you need to talk message me. I'll talk to you about whatever you need to talk about. This story is going to be freaking realistic in a lot of cases and I don't want people doing anything bad because you're all so beautiful.

U.S. Suicide prevention: 1-800-273-8255

U.K.: 0800 068 41 41

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I can't feel. I smile everyday. Everyone considers me nice and I have a lot of friends. Friends. They're never there for me. No one is. I've been hurting since 7th grade and no one can see the pain. Right now I'm not even hurt. I can't feel anything. My razor doesn't even comfort me anymore. No one has seen my scars. They check wrists. Not thighs. Fat. Worthless. Waste of space. Slut. Emo. What's the point? Little things everyone says bring me to feel nothing.

My friend said I should eat less because I don't need to get anymore fat. Everyday I see the scale show my weight. 88. I'm still too fat. I'm never going to reach perfection.

Apparently I'm too nice. I help others. I talk to everyone. Why can't I be perfect? No guy has ever fallen for me and never will. No one can love a girl with scars. No one can love me anyway, some girls with scars can be loved. The ones that do it for attention are loved. People give sympathy and attention to them. I don't want pity. No one should know my secret. They'd only ask why. They think my life is perfect.

My parents argue constantly. My own dad said I was a waste of space. Today is the day.

I have my pills in my hand. The note out. My note reads:

Dear mother, father, and others in my life,

Today was the day. It was about time it ended. The world will now be a better place. One less worthless human being is now out. Don't pretend to miss me at the funeral. I know you won't.

Love,

The girl who knows

This isn't a fan fiction. No ones going to save me. No boy is going to move to town randomly.

45 pills total. I black out. And never wake up.

A/N

This is all I'm writing on this. It's realistic. Life isn't happy.

Love you,

XxLoveMCRxX