Soulful Enigmacy

Chapter One: Six Feet Under

It's crazy..one minute I'm a frenchie on the other side of Toronto, next minute, i'm leaving home, clueless of where my future lies. It only seemed crazy because my Mom looked at me the way she did as I packed my things. I didn't think about what I was doing much. I was simply tired. I wanted a change. Scarborough had my last breath, as Lamar closed the rear doors of the van we were set to live in for a while till' we got on our feet and were able to care of ourselves. Lamar's beard was thicker than mine at that stage, and hair always piled up on top of each other. We met when I moved schools after I had failed Grade 11. We thought alike. Unambitious at school, lost in the academic life of two kids studying in a school dominated by Refugees and Immigrants.

I had lived with my Mom and my Granny. Dad left when I was really small. Small enough not to understand why. Mom worked several jobs and I was never sure why when I was smaller. As I grew I understood why. She never stayed at home much, always busy finding means to feed us. My Granny taught me Amharic at home, whilst I learned English at school. Time spent at The Ethiopian Orthodox Church nearby home also improved my Amharic till' my early teenagehood, at that point, I didn't really care anymore. I Loved Amharic music, listening to Ethiopian artists like Aster Aweke during family gatherings with my Uncles and relatives. My Dad came with his new family once in my childhood, but I never hated him for the life he chose.

I had learnt that both my parents had gotten to Toronto from Ethiopia after seeking refuge from The Red Terror back "home". I could say I was lucky to be born. I'm not sure if my Ethiopian heritage had influenced this, but I started smoking joints of weed at the age of 13, and Mom never knew, but I think she always suspected.

As Lamar started off the van, I believed this was new beginning in my life, a new chapter. I knew that I needed this for myself. Months passed by and I found myself working a job at a laundry, folding clothes and receiving about $500 as a living wage from the Canadian government, only enough to pay rent at the one bedroom apartment we got. Sleeping on a matress, for the most part of 3 years.

The Laundry gave me a chance to write my own songs. I always had an incredible passion for music, singing and songwriting. Listening to Pink Floyd, Micheal Jackson and Prince for most of my life, inspired me. I'd cover multiple MJ songs at my friend's crib for a while. These guys were legends. I always thought I had blessed vocals..but the inspiration to record a song was never there.

Lamar and a bunch of us when we started living alone in 2008, would make these whack ass parties in a house we rented on 65th Spencer Street. Those parties were soo shitty. We'd invite loads of girls and buy loads of balloons, making our parties seem like celebratory occasions. The drugs, alcohol and pills were what the parties were for. We'd take them and pop them. Not scared of OD'ing. Every weekend was a blast after I left home. No one watching over me. My life was a mess, but boy was it fun.

As an Ethiopian kid, this is not the type of life your parents typically want from you, and honestly I always had my Mom at the back of my mind and what she'd advise me to do. To be honest, 2007 to 2009 was soo fucking hazy for me. Those were one of the darkest times in my life and I was going nowhere. The breakthrough was coming..I just had to know where to find it.

2009 got fucked up. We'd fuck multiple girls after we lost our apartment, just so we could be able to sleep at their place and have a roof over our heads. We were soo desperate and we had been at the lowest point in our lives. The thought of going back home was scary, because I wanted to go back home having achieved something. Going home empty handed would be the saddest thing. Couldn't imagine seeing my Mom with nothing.

I had several ideas going into the end of 2009. My passion and dreams had to become a reality now..and I had no time to waste. I wasn't getting any younger. My dreams were becoming louder.