Can't Go Back- Joshler

{chapter 3}

Tyler takes me behind the school. There are trash and everywhere and everything is messy. As i mentioned before, I don't enjoy being around messes. But it's okay. Anyways, I've also had some questions for Tyler since we arrived.

"Hey Tyler, Why did you want me to meet you here at exactly 3:24? Why not like 3:25 or something?" I asked him.

He sighed and thought about it for a while.

"Everyone always uses regular times like 3:00 and 3:05 and things like that. I dunno, I guess I wanted 3:24 because no one really ever thinks of that time, y'know?"

He answers. He smiles again. I smile back because I just can't help it.

"Alright. Hey Josh, can you hold my bag for a sec?"

He asks. I hold his bag as i watch him climb into one of the dumpsters behind the school. What the fuck?

"Tyler! What are you doing? get down from there it's filthy! and-"

I whisper-shout at him. Before I've finished, he's come out of the dumpster with a small broken looking keyboard with keys missing and a damaged ukulele. As he takes his backpack from me, He unzips it and takes out a skeleton hoodie. He put it on and sat against the brick wall. After a few minutes that looked like he was in deep thought, I just stared into the sky. The light sound of a ukulele interrupts my thoughts. I look over quickly to see that it's Tyler, well who else would it be, strumming the ukulele in a thoughtful and slow pattern.

"What? Tyler that's beautiful, I didn't know you played any instruments?"

I say genuinely amazed. Wow, he's actually very good.

"Yeah. I know. Ever since I was 3 years old, i've always loved playing and listening to music. But my parents never allowed me to play it. My mom wanted me to always focus on my schoolwork, and my Dad wanted me to focus on sports, and "manly" stuff, as he puts it."

Tyler explains sadly. he looks down at the ground and starts reading the rappers and garbage on the ground.

"Why were your instruments in the dumpster?"

I ask quietly, not sure if i was going to offend him or not.

"After my parents banned me from playing music, i snuck my instruments to school. I thought i could play them here and not get in trouble. But then I started to get bullied in the beginning of this year. For playing music, and not playing sports. So my dad forced me to start basketball, and, I guess i'm average at it. But I hate it. Anyways, The people making fun of my music took my instruments and stuffed them in the dumpster. I never play instruments anymore because i'm afraid i'll be yelled at or hurt. But I trust you, Josh,"

He explains. Wow. I didn't realize that he had been through so much just for wanting to play music. That's not fair.

"Tyler, you know I would never hurt you. I love-"

I stop myself before I say what i was going to say. Tyler looks up hopefully.

"What do you love Josh?"

he says very quietly. Oh god. What have i gotten my self into? I hate myself for saying that.

"Uh, music! yeah. I love music. It's great and you can always play your instruments around me,"

I say awkwardly. Do you think he knows? Goddammit! I wish i didn't say that, we were just becoming good friends! I can't believe I just single-handedly destroyed our friendship.

"Josh I think I know what you were going to say. I hope you were going to say that. because I love the same thing. You."

He says. He kisses me on the cheek and I blush. Oh god. He likes me too? This is amazing. I don't know how to react to the small kiss, i'm not sure why i'm freaking out because it was just a kiss on the cheek, so I just grin awkwardly. He places his instruments back into the dumpster with a frown and a sigh.

"Goodbye Josh. I'll see you on Monday." He says with a smile.

After a minute of just standing awkwardly I go over to him and hug him. A genuine "I really love you" hug, not just a "I don't like you that much but i don't want you to know" hug. I've had plenty of those hugs before. They hurt. I hear Tyler sniff and a tear falls into my back.

"Tyler, Are you okay? Do you need-"

I ask. Did i make him cry? Oh no. I ruined this friendship again.

"No. It's just that, no one has every told me they genuinely loved me before. My dad never said it. My mom never said it. But you have said it for the first real time, and, I just..."

He trails off as he wipes a tear off his face. He looks up and smiles at me again. I smile back.

"Will I see you today in the grocery store?"

I ask with a smile.

"No. I don't think i need anymore magazines. But i will come to the store to see you today, because I do know I have a lot of explaining to do. Even more explaining. I'm sorry I put you through all this,"

He says with a laugh. He didn't put me though anything. I didn't know he plays music. That's amazing. I wouldn't regret this at all.

"Tyler. Do you really think I didn't enjoy this? This was the most fun i've ever had,"

I respond. He smiles again. After saying goodbye for the final time, Tyler finally leaves. He looks sad that he had to leave. I'm sad too. I really like him a lot.

I get on my bike and put my helmet on. It's 5:01 In the morning. Wow. We talked for almost two hours. And i enjoyed every minute of it.
After one minute of thinking, i put my bike down and sprint towards the dumpsters. I take his instruments out and stuff them in my backpack. I take them with me so I can fix them. I've recently been good at fixing things like desks and my dad's car. How could some instruments be any different, right?

I finished repairing his instruments by 7:47 in the morning. Fixing them was pretty hard and i'm pretty sure I almost broke a string on his uke. After i'm done i write him a note;

Tyler-
I thought I would fix your instruments because I know you love them. You don't deserve any of this. Always play your music around me. I love it as much as I love you.

I write the "I love you" slowly and reluctantly, But i force myself to do it.

Don't forget that. Your music is beautiful and anyone who says otherwise is lying.
-Josh

After i'm finished writing the letter, i place it neatly under the fixed ukulele strings.

I ride back to school on my bike for the second time today and place the instruments back in the dumpsters so he can find it. He deserves it.

When I get home from school the second time this morning It's 8:58 in the morning. My parents are still asleep. I put my pajamas back on like nothing ever happened this morning and picked up a box of cheerios. We don't have milk. Okay. I just reach my hand into the bag of cheerios and just eat like that. I turn on the TV but the only thing that's playing is golf. Of course. I can't pay attention to any show in the first place. I'm focused on the fact that, Tyler said he loved me too. I catch myself in the mirror above our TV. I'm smiling again. And blushing.