Letting go

Prologue

From the outside I had the perfect life. I was a sixteen years old had blond hair and blue eyes. I was the queen bee and part of the most exclusive clique at my high school. I was the head of the cheerleaders, a straight A student and I was loved and admired by the whole world or my hometown Westport Connecticut. Oh and I was one of the richest and most beautiful girls that lived there. I was intimidating and beautiful at the same time. Girls wanted to be me and guys wanted to date me. I stood out like a lone rose in a thorn bush which wasn't easy in Westport. Everyone and everything had to be perfect. When there was a bump in this belief it was simply smoothed out and carefully pushed to the side and forgotten. Everyone in Westport had dirty secrets. Yet from the outside you wouldn't be able to tell. Everyone lived in enormous clean mansions. The grass was always luscious and a healthy green color. The ocean breeze whispered a song through the trees. The brilliant blue ocean water shone with mysterious beauty and the waves rose and fell so gracefully it could be described as a theatrical dance. Even in the long frosty winter

the snow shone brightly and the snow sugar coated the trees. Throughout blizzards and ice storms and heat waves and downpours Westport remained perfect. From the outside it may seem like a glimpse of heaven. But living there was quite a different thing. The competition of who had the most money,the best clothes, the best SAT scores or the best boyfriend. The pressure of being the prettiest, the thinnest, the richest, the smartest and the best. It didn't matter how smart, rich, pretty, or perfect you were, you could never be satisfied. It was like a cup that couldn't be filled. In your heart you could feel a hole that couldn't be filled no matter what you tried. Money, looks, shopping,popularity, parties, drugs, alcohol, or anything really. Except one thing. I had tried everything to satisfy my lonely heart. This thing called me back. Someone was sacrificed for my calling and I still don't know why. This is the story of how I found myself by letting go of who I was pretending to be. This is how I let go of who I thought I was. This is how one life was lost but how I was saved, or spared. This is how I learned how hard letting go really is. And how letting go is just the beginning to turning around from the path of death before it is to late to save yourself.