Poems

1

I hate you.

No wait.. Let me rephrase this. I don't hate you. I don't exactly like you...

Oh gosh, it's complicated putting it into words... Please give me a chance to explain myself. 

I don't hate you.

You are a decent person, and I'm sure you'd be a great friend, but I just can't see us working out.

You are sweet and kind. Nerdy and very smart.

Charming and a dork. I wish to love you...

But I can't. I can't I can't I can't.

I just can't stand the idea of being close to you. Of holding your hand.

Of kissing you under the moonlight and the stars. 

Of hugging you and talking to you about us.

I can't think of a future with you I can't.

I'm so sorry. 

I promise it's not you. It's me.

For you see, I fell for the wrong person.

I'm so sorry.

I should explain.

I never though I would I thought I was done with them,

But it was just a thought. A silly silly thought.

My heart ached to feel them close to me again. I never thought...

It began with simple things. Like stealing little glares. 

And noticing things you never seemed to notice before. 

Like how that shirt matched the color of their eyes. Or their hair was parted a different way.

I never noticed. 

And you won't believe all those nights I spent dreaming of them. Of us, together again.

You where never there, not in those little dreams I made. 

In my dreams you where as dead as a doornail. 

I tried conjuring up dreams about you and me too. A trip to the movies, A day in the park.

But whenever I did It made me sick. So I would stop.

And remember those three infamous words you said to me?

And remember how I returned them? 

I was hesitant, not because I was afraid of loving you. 

Because it was an impossible feat to do.

I hoped that words where stronger than actions. 

Because saying it was easier than showing it.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

I never meant to disappoint, betray and hurt you.

It's just that my heart was attached to them. 

It just wasn't capable of letting go. 

And who dare disobey the heart when it aches for something it doesn't have.

Would it make you feel bad if I told you I enjoyed it more when I was kissed by them than you?

Would it hurt to say that I never felt a bond, and that every moment I spent with you was pure agony?

Would It hurt to say I hated it when people complimented us of being 'a cute couple'?

It would. 

It really would. I'm sorry I can't love you the way that I love them. 

I'm sorry to say that you no longer linger in my thoughts. and that the very thought of you makes my head ache.

I'm sorry. But I bet there are many other out others looking for someone like you.

And I know you might be asking who the person who took my heart is,

She is my fire.

She is the person that brings me joy. 

And I'm sorry to say these words.

Forgive me dear, I know it's hard but life goes on.