I've Been Told

I've been told I'm different.
A lot of people say that being different is fine, but treat me as if it's bad anyway.

I've been told to move on,
to forgive and forget.
But I've never been told where on is,
how to forgive when I haven't heard an apology,
or how to block out the sorrow.

I've been told to look to the future.
My future has always been uncertain.
I've seen future in incomplete math problems,
in pointing fingers,
in the lines of diagnosis reports,
in the words "your daughter is different", which the words my mother despised the most.

I've been told to follow my dreams.
My dream is to live a simple life,
to do whatever makes me happy,
to change the world,
but I've been told it's not that simple.

I've been told that love is blind,
but when it comes to love,
I'm deaf,
unable to feel,
unable to smell,
and unable to taste as well.

I've been told my soulmate is out there, still looking for me.
But I like to think I'm my own soulmate,
that I'm the one who was meant for me,
that I am everything I'm looking for.

I've been told that I'm weird,
but people don't have a clue how weird they are.
Especially when such-and-such did this becomes big news,
when looking nice becomes superior to being nice,
when this is cool while that isn't.

I've been told I have an easy life,
but few people have seen my past,
when I was "clearly a little off",
when my math scores deemed me as "stupid",
when I watched the best elementary school in the district crumple up what could've saved me years of struggling and throw it in the trash,
when they decided that there was no middle ground between the normal classroom and the special education department,
when I saw my mother cry because "a little off" became "ADHD, slow processing disorder, sensory disorder, and non-verbal learning disorder."

I've been told I'm different.
A lot of people say that being different is fine, but treat me as if it's bad anyway.
It used to break my heart,
but now it doesn't make a difference.
It's much too late to break my heart now.
My heart has already been shattered.
There's nothing more to break.