Love was always something I adored, but I had never had anything like it before. Love was undescribed, never written down in the right way, never truly understood. But somehow, I wanted to unravel the mystery and discover its secrets, I was determined and I wouldn't give up for a while.
Love, Lily Apples(: March 2000, 25th
*~* several years after this was written.
I sat on my bed, digging through my old secret box. Mom was right, when you go through things you remember more. I kept reading over the letter I had wrote to myself when I was ten, it almost made me cry to remember when I was obsessed with love. I put the letter on the pillow, wanting to go back to it, and through everything else out.
"Lily! Jacob is here to see you!" I smiled and swept everything off my bed, acting like I was a normal teenage girl.
"Come here you!" Jacob grabbed me in a hug, and kissing me like crazy. I kissed back, feeling a smile spread across both of our lips in unison; Jacob always knew how to make my day 100% better.
"Babe, calm down. My mom is here." I whispered in Jacob's ear, which only made him shiver.
"I can't help it, I just love looking at you." I smiled at the cheesy comment, and laughed as he picked up my letter from six years before."What's this?" He asked, his eyebrows moving up in down in that sexy way of his.
"Something from when I was little, I just found it." I flicked it away like it was nothing, but I wanted him to put it down with all of my might.
"It's cute, just like you." He grabbed my waist, dropping my letter, as he starts kissing me again. All of my worry flood away, all he had to do was touch me and everything would always be okay.
He smiled at me as I got up, he could tell I was worried. "What's the matter Lily?" He asked, walking up to me with a worried look.
"I'm just, well... It's hard to explain. My mind is hurting, I'm confused." I said, looking out my window as if the answer will just be there.
"Buttercup, do you want me to give you some space?" He asked, sitting down as if he was worried.
"I don't want you to leave me." I said, and he walked up to me and gave me the biggest hug.
"I would never leave you, your my girl but you're also my best friend. Even if you said we could see different people I will always love you." I started crying into his shirt, I felt like a horrible person. "Babe, if that's what your saying I'm perfectly fine with that."
"I'm sorry Jacob." I dropped his hand from my hand and kept staring at the window, I couldn't dare just watch him leave.
"I love you Lily." He whispered and all I could do was cry more.
*~* four hours later.
"Lily? Are you okay?" I heard my mom say, all I could do was grunt. I was in such a hole I couldn't even think why I would leave Jacob.
"Hey, it's okay. If you did it there has to be some sense in it. Come on!" She got up and turned on my CD, jumping and singing like she actually knew the words. I laughed and got up and danced with my mom, she was the only one besides Jacob that could cheer me up. "Everything better?" I smiled and nodded, "Come on, it's dinner time." I followed her down the stairs dancing and jumping like a moron, when I noticed that we had guests.
"Sorry to spring this on you Apple, but this is John, my boss, and his boy Eian." My face must've been redder than the tomatoes because I could see John and Eian smiling like crazy.
I sat down next to Eian, and smiled at him. As far as he knew my name was Apple, that could explain my blush.
"Is your name Lily? I've heard a lot about you from my dad, who probably heard it from your mom." He smiled at me, he had a nice smile one that could make million of girls melt.
"Yeah, I'm Lily. Do you go to my school? You don't look familiar." I asked, hoping that it was alright to ask.
"I just transferred, so beginning Monday I will be." He said, his blue eyes were sparkling and I couldn't stop looking at them.
"Staring is rude." He whispered into my ear and I couldn't help but blush; I didn't look at him again for the rest of dinner.
"Hi, you stopped looking at me." He looked at me with a pouty face and it took me all of my will not to slap him.
"So you're that kind of guy?" I asked, secretly holding down a smile. He shook his head, and smiled at me.
"Will you dance with me?" He asked, and I looked at him like he was crazy.
"There's no music." I said, hoping I wasn't blushing like crazy.
"The music you had on earlier is my favorite, can we listen to that?" I nodded and started walking up the stairs. When he didn't follow I grabbed his hand and rushed up the stairs.
I put on the song that was on before and he smiled, he grabbed my hand and I gave him the look; as if to say if he did anything bad he would be punished.
He smiled and just danced, it felt... what was the word? Nice, it felt right and just all together nice. He looked down at me and smiled, I put my head on his shoulder. He had no idea what had happened earlier, maybe he was one of those guys that didn't care, all I knew was that this was helping me.
Before I knew it the song was over, he stepped away from me and bowed. I became angry at the CD, I wanted it to go on forever. He laughed at how angry I was, but I was serious, he had no idea how much that one dance calmed me.
He grabbed me back into the dancing position and we just walked back and forth, I could hear his heart beat and I suddenly felt like I was forcing him to do this.
"You don't have to do this." I said, still stepping back and forth with him as if the song was on.
"What are you talking about? It's my pleasure." I smiled and suddenly a tear fell down my cheek. After one fell they all began to fall, I couldn't stop them. Eian looked at me with a worried look, "Are you okay?" He asked, and I nodded tears still falling down my cheeks.
"Hey. it's alright." He picked me up and layed me in bed, he sat there and put his hands through my hair until I fell asleep. Before I totally drifted off I felt him kiss my forehead and I heard the door fully close.That night I dreamed of dancing.
