I Want to Live in My Truth (BoyxBoy)

How It All Started

At a young age I've always had strong feelings towards men, growing up I never really knew how to act on them. I was taught and brought up on the thought that being gay was such a bad thing, Wether it was in school or at home. People have always talk down on gays so I knew not to throw myself out there.

Around 12 yrs old I remember laying down in my room one day looking up on the internet how to stop being gay, how to stop having feelings for males, how to get those thoughts and attractions out my head, even my brother looked down on me. I use to want to please him and be the best little brother I could be but nothing would work.

Here I am now, 16 yrs old, after all the bullying, after all the put downs, after all the hate comments, being physically bullied and mentally bullied, I'm still constantly looking over my shoulder trying to please my family members and be the son my parents always wanted, trying to stay out of everyone's way and ignore the comments society makes about the LGBT community, I just want to Live In My Truth...

NEXT MORNING

I wake up to my alarm as I lay feeling helpless thinking about how much I don't want to get up, sleeping and being alone to myself takes my mind off the negative things sometimes, it might not cure the depression but it temporarily gets me away from everybody. Waking up on a school morning is the worst, all the depression kicks in and all the negative thoughts come behind it, I cannot do another day at this school.

Every morning was the same Routine, brush my teeth, wash my face, brush my hair, and put on my clothes. As I arrive in school I met my homegirl by the entrance like I always do, we walk to each other's lockers and then to class. I always had a handful amount of friends, most of them take my mind off the negative things and make me realize why I'm still living.

As I'm walking to class I see this boy who swears we beefing, Steven. Steven was always the type to think he has competition with people, he swears he's this A1 model but cut up every piece of clothing he has and calls it fashion. I don't pay that boy no mind but this one particular day was not my day. As i'm walking to class I see him standing with his friends just looking at me, so he decides to shout out "A fucking mess!"

HELLO EVERYONE, I hope you're enjoying this book so far, I just really wanted to take a different route and write a book about what people don't normally write about, what really goes on in the real world and what's going on in most teens life throughout the LGBT community whether it's an out the closet but not so confident person or just not out the closet.