Crack Classic Rock Oneshots

Deacury

(A/N: I'm baack! And I'm writing your requests now, so be very, very scared.
 First of all, Deacury! 
 This is gonna be fun. ; ) 
 Warning: Lot of bassists jokes. Sorrynotsorry. 
 Enjoy!)

--

Once upon a time there was a band "Queer" - their real name, so majestic, Freddie made it when he looked at Brian and Roger and don't even tell me it wasn't like that.

Unfortunately, they were really poor because they didn't have a bass player. Shame.

"We need some bass player!" Freddie hit the table with his fist one day, when they were sitting together in his house.

"Great idea, how will we find him?" asked Brian, hugging his Red Special and ignoring jealous glares the percussist was giving at him. 

"Listen, I've got a plan. It's gonna be awesome. We will kidnap some random guy from a street. A then we'll close him in ours basement, where we'll teach him how to play on a bass guitar, feeding him only with a bread and water. We'll wash his brain and make him an obedient bassist, who-"

"Or we'll just make a try-out," interrupted Taylor, crossing his arms.

"That'll be better," added May.

"Ur boring," said Freddie.

And then he went to organise a try-out.

Because no one needed and liked the bassists, suddenly everyone saw a chance and it didn't take them long to beat and path to Queer's doors. 

* * *

"Nope... nope... not this one... this one can play only two chords... actually it's a lot for a bassist... but still nope... nope... this one is too little English... not this one... this one looks like an idiot, he would ruin band's image... and this one doesn't even have a bass guitar! It's a fuckin' ukulele!" 

Frustrated Freddie was walking around, watching the bassists standing on a scene. None of them was acceptable enough. None of them was perfect.

"Maybe this one?" Roger pointed at the random guy. "Play us somethin'"

He did was we was pleased to.

"I think his good," said Brian.

"I think that if he was drowning, I would throw his amp at him," answered Mercury.

May and Taylor looked at each other, knowing fully, that this was going to be a long, long try-out.

A few hours passed and those less engaged went to home. Freddie was still shaking his head with a disappointment, saying something about teaching his cat to play a bass.

"Stop!" he shouted suddenly, pointing to the one guy standing shyly beside the wall and drinking a tea. "You! You play?"

"M-me?" the man reddened, when everyone looked at him. "I just came here because I heard they're giving a free tea here."

"Nevermind," Mercury said and gave him an instrument, ordering him to play.

So he started to play and he did a pretty good job. Freddie made a decision; he'll take him. To the band, he meant. It wasn't about his playing though. He could make the worst solo in the world here and the leader would take him anyway. He just liked him.

"What's your name?"

The bassist murmured something.

"Say it again!"

"John Deacon!"

"Welcome in the band, Jawn!"

Brian grunted behind his back. "Do ya care about ours opinion?"