cigarettes & a full moon

( 16 )

  ( 16 )

      with shaking hands, i dial his number. he picks up on the fourth ring.

      "hello?" he questions tiredly.

      "it's anya," i reply, and i hear him shuffling around, like he's getting out of bed.

      "where are you? are you at the rooftop? i'm coming," he says urgently, desperately.

      "shh, i'm home, be quiet," i say, looking at the door, and lowering my voice. if felix knew i was calling him, he'd disapprove, and for some reason i want his approval.

      "i don't care about being fucking quiet, do you know how worried i've been? all day?" cole says, purposely raising his voice in defiance.

      "cole, shut up, can you ever just care about someone else for once?" i question angrily, and as soon as it leaves my lips, i regret the words. cole is silent for what seems like hours, but is only seconds.

      "i know i am selfish, i know who i am, anya, and i love it, can you say the same for yourself?" he snaps, but he doesn't hang up. he wants to know what i will say, he wants to win this argument, which isn't really an argument at all.

      cole is delusional, and felix could be right.

       "no, i can't, cole, you win." i reply, and i hang up, knowing that's the last thing he wants. i stand up, thinking i'll go get some water, and see if felix has left yet. i open my door, and there he is, just standing there against the wall, looking down at me.

        "don't even say anything," i mumble, and felix tries to hide his smirk as he follows me down the stairs.