How To Become Anorexic

So… you think starving is a good way to lose weight, do you? I think you’ve read too many fairy tales. Well, this isn’t one. Neither are eating disorders. They are sheer and total HELL. But, since you want one, I’ll go ahead and prep you for it. I’ll let you know exactly what will happen to you. If this doesn’t make you realize how completely stupid running out there and trying to develop anorexia is, then I wish you the best of luck in killing yourself. Because that’s all you’ll be doing.

The completely ironic part about people trying to lose weight by starving is that half the time it does not work. I bet you think you’ll wind up insanely thin and gorgeous, right? Wrong. You won’t be gorgeous. One thing’s for certain. Insane is a definite part of the package. Your mind won’t be yours anymore. Kiss it goodbye, I hope you didn’t enjoy it.

The less you eat, the lower your metabolism goes. You might starve and starve and barely lose anything…or you might be extra lucky…you might starve and starve and gain weight. Your body might just shut itself down and the weight go nowhere. and even though you aren’t losing, you’ll still be HOOKED. You still won’t be able to stop. By the time your body shuts off from malnutrition, you’ll be too far in it to *snap* think “Oh…this isn’t working…I think I’ll eat again.” No…you’ll be desperate and eat less and less and work out more and more. Eventually, you won’t be ABLE to work out. Your muscles will eventually stop cooperating. Then you’ll panic and try and eat even less to compensate for not being able to work your ass off (simply a figure of speech, since you’re not losing any weight, of course). By then you can’t eat less though. You’re barely eating enough to stay alive as it is. And you can’t stop. It isn’t working and you still can’t stop. Andnd whether its working or not, you won’t see the truth. You’ll never actually know what you look like. Nope…no matter what you’ll think you must weigh at least four hundred pounds. This is true if you weigh 150 or if you weigh 70. You will be fat. Insane is the proper term for it, isn’t it? Yes, you might just be one of the lucky ones, one of the ones that doesn’t lose weight. But don’t sit thereand think that means you won’t be sick. Not true…not true at all. Your skin and hair will be dry, your teeth sore, your period gone, your bones aching, your muscles cramping…well, no need to go on. You still want this, of course. After all, you won’t be like that. You won’t be one of the failures. You’ll be successful; you’ll be thin and perfect. Beautiful.

Well, since you’re going to win, why don’t I tell you about your prize, hmm?? It’s quite nice. You will be skinny. You will be sickly thin. Your ribs will stand out and your hipbones will be sharp. You won’t see it. You’ll look in the mirror and see fat. You’ll see rolls. You’ll look at girls who weight fifty pounds more than you and wonder why you can’t be as thin as they are. You’ll look in the mirror everyday and swear that you’ve gained at least ten pounds. Other people will see you shrink but you won’t get to watch. You’ll never see the truth. Others will though. You’ll be sickly skinny…but you won’t be pretty. And they’ll all see that. You won’t though…you’ll be too busy staring at your ass and wondering when you turned into your fat Aunt Bertha. You will not be attractive. You won’t. You’ll have huge dark circles. Your skin will be pasty pale andhave a lovely gray tint to it. Makeup will NOT help this. It won’t, so don’t think it will. Don’t even bother to attempt it. You’ll be wasting your time; time that could be better spent doing your usual pastime, staring into the pantry to watch the food. Of course, people might not notice that you’re gray. They could be too busy staring at the dark black, blue, andpurple spots you’re covered in. Everything you do will result in a bruise. Everything.Do you have pretty hair? You won’t anymore. It will be straw dry anddull. It will not shine. Think conditioner will help? It won’t. It won’t andthere’s no sense in trying it. It might soften your hair for a while (after you use half the bottle, of course) but it won’t make your hair look any better. Buy a ponytail holder. You’ll need it. You’ll probably be wearing it all the time. You’ll also need some hair dye. I sincerely hope your hair isn’t a nice color….because it won’t be soon. Yes…the color of your hair will fade out. You might even get grays. But gray is a nice color, isn’t it? I rather like it. I think the grayish brown color where my natural red and blonde highlights used to be adds a bit of … oh … dignity to my look.