Love Me

Chapter 2

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Despite mum telling me not to wait up I still did, I just couldn't sleep, I wanted to make sure she came back.

Our family had a tendency of leaving and never coming back, last time my dad kissed my head like he was never coming back and he sure didn't.

"Bye sweetie, take care of mummy for me okay"
"Uuum okaaaaay" I answered him. It was so unusual of him to talk like that, I figured maybe he's trying to be mushy, but that night he never came back, then the other and the other.

Mum and I got really worried, tried calling him, his office, apparently he hadn't gone to work for days.

We filed a missing person report, and the police told us to wait they'll do there job.

Life became so miserable then, my mum stopped eating, doing stuff in the house, drinking all the time.
I had to stop being a little girl and grow up in order to get things moving.

I had to learn how to cook otherwise if I didn't do it my mother wouldn't.

Present Day

I went straight to bed once I saw her come in the house, I went up my room with my eyes closed I had stayed up almost all night watching movies with Zara.

She went to bed past 2:30 am least she didn't have school the following day, while I was left still watching.

I woke up early to make breakfast, mum was definitely not going to make it she looked super wasted. I do that so am not woken up in the middle of an awesome dream to fix breakfast.

Not being a morning person you can imagine how that goes for me.

Problem was most of the time I'd wake up that early and not go back to bed, I lay in bed mostly thinking of Ken and our secret place.

Ken

When I was with Kate I felt like I was with someone I could talk to, a listener, a best friend.
She was too mature for her age, the advice she would give you'd think you are talking to a professional shrink.

I loved sharing our secret place with her.
No one else knew about that place and I intended on keeping it like that.

Fear of my boys knowing this is where I come to cry would label me the title "sissy" I knew that because this one time in middle school, we made fun of Andrew after we found out he had a hiding place.

Andrew never saw peace in that school, no girl wanted to talk to him, he was the schools laughing stock.

I would bet he hated his life, he always looked so miserable, to make it worse he was a nerd.

To some extend I normally felt bad for him, wondered what I'd do if I was in such a position.

With Kate it felt like bliss.

One time Kate asked me why write and throw away my poems and I said, "release."

Sometimes I'd let her read my stuff sometimes I didn't, not that I didn't want to, but sometimes I wrote things I wasn't sure she was ready to see.

A tear, I feel it slither on my face, a pain rises in my throat, a burning sensation that feels like hot needles.

I don't want her to see me like this but I honestly cannot help it.

She stands up and faces me, wipes the wet on my face using the back of her left hand.
Asks me what is wrong and I don't know how to tell her, everything.

I feel like she is too young to know what exactly am going through.

Release.

I could use some of that too, I wish I could tell her exactly how I feel.

I wish I could weave words well enough to explain.

I wish I could tell her that she is the soothing relief of cool morning breeze in the blistering heat of January.

The taste of sweet vanilla cream on my
dry cracked lips after a long hungry
day.

That she is the smell of a flower, a rose,
freshly plucked, I know she dearly love roses.

That she is the bridge to a John Legend song.

Elegant.
Cultured.
A tad complicated.

I wish I could tell her, she is life, bliss, hope, fire, and perfection understated in words.

I wish you could tell this woman
that I love her.
Goodness! I love her.

In my head I have a picture of how it plays out, I've thought about it a thousand times.
I would tell her I love her. She would say she loves me too.

I are her best friend.
I would say yes, but no, more than that.

She would look at me, puzzled, "what do you mean, more?" in that voice that feels like singing birds in the morning.
I would tell her, more than she could ever imagine.

I would hold her cheeks in both of my hands and ask her to look in my eyes.
I would tell her to see the fire in my eyes, feel my breathing on her face.

I would lean in and kiss her lips; a deep kiss that lasts a little longer than a second.

Sigh, I really wish I could tell her.

Sometimes I pictured it over and over again until I started seeing her slapping, maybe she didn't want me.

Clara her close friend had once mentioned she likes me but we hadn't talked in forever, what if her feelings changed, I thought to myself.
I seriously needed to get Kate out of my mind and even system.

I took my phone and quickly dialed Suzanna I knew her name but I saved her as "head" only men would understand. She really needed to come and relieve me.

The only problem with her is that she was so clingy, we'd have sex today and she'd automatically think am her boyfriend. Thank God I knew how to deal with her.

So far so good, journeying on.

Still going strong.

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Till next chapter 👋
Thank you for reading
Enjoy

Love,
W.M