Flashing lights. Gibber Gabber. Panic. Anxiety. Adrenaline. Pain.
It didn't end the way I expected it to. I guess I don't really know how I expected a shooting to end. Does anyone? I feel like everyone imagines that they'll be the hero. They'll say, "Shoot me!" or "Don't shoot her!" I guess the same sort of thing happened here. Oh yeah, but no one came through on their daydreamed heroism.
Oh no, the innocent girl had to take the fall. The innocent girl who just wanted to shop mindlessly for clothes. The innocent girl who's father just got a promotion. The innocent girl who's mother is pregnant. The girl who's birthday was forgotten in the midst of family news. The girl who told her best friend to just leave her alone. The girl who called her boyfriend an asshole the last time she saw him. The innocent girl...who had attempted suicide twice within the last year. The girl who would, now that she looks death in the face, love nothing more than to congratulate her parents, hug her best friend, and kiss her boyfriend. Who would love nothing more, right now, than to live. But she froze. I. Froze.
I didn't recognize him. I had no idea why I was the one he chose. Everyone scattered. I stayed. Why the hell did I stay? You see a gun? You run. Obviously. But nope! I stayed. Like an idiot. I didn't hear the gunshots. I didn't feel the bullets enter my chest. All I saw. Was his finger squeeze the trigger.
One.
Two.
Three.
Then after that? Nothing. Pitch black. Until.
Flashing lights...of an ambulance screaming into the hospital.
Gibber gabber...of the doctors discussing me.
My panic. What's gonna happen to my new baby sibling?
My anxiety. What's gonna happen to my friends and loved-ones?
My adrenaline. What's gonna happen to me?
My pain. Three entry wounds.
