Capítulo Tres: J2O: Now In Marmite Flavour!
P: J! J! lightbulb moment J2O!
J: in intimidating voice that only M cannot be terrified of Don’t call me that. Ever.
P: shrinks back in fear
several minutes later
P: referring to Señora I love how she writes Londres then rubs it out and writes it again about ten times while she’s talking.
M and J snigger
S: referring to what she’s done on the board, which happens to be how to write a letter to a Spanish penpal ...and that’s how you do that!
M: pointing at the scribble at the bottom of the ‘letter’ What is that?
S: looking slightly miffed My signature!
Liz: panicked I don’t have a signature!
S: Write your name then, darling!
S and Liz carry on debating whether writing your name is the same as a signature, and M, J and P soon lose interest
P: I know what I’m going to call you two! J is J20 ignores glare from J, and M is Mango!
M: isn’t listening to P, and is instead laughing hysterically at the Señora
P: to M You have a weird laugh.
S: So, would you like to make Christmas cards next week? And I’ll even play you some Spanish Christmas carols on WeTube!
Class: ignoring Señora’s WeTube/YouTube blunder Yay!
several seconds later
P: Oh my god, YES!
J: facepalms
M: She is so normal, I don’t know why I bother making these remarks.
several minutes later
P: to M So, do you want to be Mango?
M: No. Marmite. I want to be Marmite.
J: But that sounds racist.
P: And when we put the two names together you can be Mango J2O.
M: I’m not answering to that. It’s racist. To mangos.
several minutes later
S: What else, darlings?
M: muttering Your death.
P: pokes M Don’t be disrespectful.
M: I didn’t do anything! tries to smile innocently and glare daggers simultaneously and fails spectacularly
S: Alright darlings, los verbos! (the verbs)
Class: Somos, sois, son!
M: in unnervingly accurate imitation of the Señora Well done, my darlings!
P: Shut up, M.
M: Go dig a hole and die in it.
P: Go dig a hole and slam your face in it.
M: smirks, even though she’s getting annoyed Go dig a hole and fuck yourself in it, I dare you.
P: Go dig your face and slam it.
M: rolls eyes and gives up
a few minutes later
P: pokes M, then when M glares at her: That was J.
both M and J look incredulous, and J also looks indignant
P: evidently feeling helpless Go away and die in pain. And stop looking at me like that, J2O!
J: What did you call me?
P shrinks back in fear while J begins to look increasingly menacing.
END
In the Español classroom once more. Señora is playing alternating videos of choirgirls singing Spanish Christmas carols and videos of random pictures (usually those of Pokémon) with Spanish Christmas carols playing in the background on ‘WeTube’.
J: referring to the video Well, they like Pokémon in Spain, don’t they?
M: semisomnus (half-asleep), makes small noise of agreement
a few minutes later
P: OMG, I love this song! watches in rapture at the boy bouncing around randomly on the screen
M: still half asleep She is so normal. Like a piece of grass.
END
YOU ARE READING
Worst Comebacks In History
HumorThe misadventures of three intelligent teenagers who are almost always bored. In their Spanish lessons, anyway.
