Little Secrets

chapter 5

My stomach makes a whale sound. I have eaten all day execpt the bite of melon from yesterdays breakfast. 

I walk over to the buffet. Everyone looks at me as I walk away. They must be scared, worried at least about me now thanks to Zayn. He really didn't have to tell anyone; I thought I could be normal at least for now.

My eyes skim the buffet looking for the most healthy thing to eat. I take an apple and walk back to the table. All the boys look at my apple with their mouthes full.

"Is that it, I've not seen you eat anything all of yesterday?" Louis gawps.

"I'm not hungry I had a big dinner last night when you were all at the concert" I lie. They shrug it off. 

"Rose, eat more please." Zayn looks at me.

"I'm not hungry Zayn" I repeat. Harry squeezes my thigh and I take an overexaggerated bite out of the apple. 

We walk outside and I spot the tour bus. A bodyguard guides us to the door. I sit inbetween Liam and Niall. The journey is boring, the conversation is about things I'm not really interested in. I take my phone and sit back a bit. I look at my twitter; again. More hate. Can they just leave me alone already? I eventually decide to write my own tweet.

@Rose_malikxo yeah you've made it clear, Ik im fat and a 'slut' so you can stop saying it now I believe you. 

I tear falls from my eye but I wipe it quick enough for no one to notice. 

"What ya' looking at?" Louis takes my phone. He runs to the front of the bus with me following. 

"Tell me you aren't serious?" He says looking at my tweets and mentions.

"What's up?" Liam says all the boys are now reading the tweets.

"Rose.." Liam starts but I just grab the phone and climb into a bed shutting the curtain.

I don't even cry. I'm over crying right now. I'm angry; at Zayn at the fans at everyone. I want to sleep but I can't so I climb out of the bunk and sit opposite all the boys on the sofa. They all stare at me.

"What?" I shrug.

"Are you ok Rose?" Louis says moving over to touch my knee but I flinch away.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I raise my eyebrows.

"Well, cos of that tweet?" Zayn says turning to all the boys. Why? He shouldn't be saying this he doesn't know anything.

"You know when people think that they are helping but really they aren't and it just makes you feel worse and want to just urgh I don't even know" I say and catch everyones attention.

They all just sit there mouthes partly open. It takes a while for any sound to come out fo their mouthes so I take charge.

"Yeah that's what I thought." I say and turn on my phone.