Her Letters to John || COMPLETED

Letter Entry #1

Dear John,
     I'm just a typical girl. Well, not that typical actually. I am fat (61 kilos to be exact), short (5'1), has curly and very frizzy hair that looks like a bird's nest, and a lot more to add. In short, I'm not that...yeah. I can't express in words how I feel about my self. I love being fat, I love eating and I love everything about me. But I also hate everything about me. Got my point? Well, a lot of people point out my flaws and tease me because of it. I'm already fed up of their rants, but I'm used to it already. So instead of getting angry and sulking at the corner, I just laugh at them and sometimes joke about my self too. Life is too short, so why would I waste it on them?

     To be honest, I never really cared about you before. I was new in school and I kind of knew that everyone doesn't like me that much because of my appearance so I decided to keep quiet and just observe everyone from afar. Then one day, I came out from the bathroom (which is located a couple of meters away from the side of your table) then tripped on the rag and landed directly in front you. My face landed first, and that was so embarrassing. The good thing is that was lunch time and there were few people in the room and we were at the back and so no one noticed, except you of course. Then I heard you laughing lightly while looking at me, so I quickly stood up while looking down. I was silently cursing my self for being so clumsy that time but then I heard you said,

  'Are you alright?'

     Of course I'm not, but I absent-mindedly nodded and scurried to my seat. You know what? You were the first person who actually cared for me in that class. Well if you call it care, but I actually appreciated that gesture so much. For the first time, someone talked to me sincerely. Ever since the training and seminar we had a week before school started, Ivan would always talk about how fat I am, how bad I am in dancing, and how long my chin is and a lot more. Everyone would then start to laugh and add side comments. I admit, it hurt big time but its high school dude. I am not a stupid elementary student anymore. I really wanted to defend my self but I'm sure that things will only get worse. So I kept my mouth close all the time and let their statements vanish into thin air . It is funny actually, Ivan's one of my close and trusted friend right now. For me, past is always past. I am sure that you forgot about that event right now, but I don't care. I just want you to know that I am very thankful to you.

     Do you still remember that time when you and a couple of our classmates were playing truth or dare after Math class? I bet you do. Well unfortunately, the bottle pointed to you and you picked dare (*scoffs * of course). Ivan thought that hugging the ugliest person in the room was the best dare ever (as he was obviously pertaining to me). Everyone quickly agreed without thinking twice.

     I was about to go to the canteen that time when suddenly someone hugged me from the back. I was frozen in my spot while hearing our classmates saying ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.  They were shouting in glee, with a couple of high five's here and snorting there. I looked over my shoulder and I was shocked to see you. You had the biggest grin plastered on your face, obviously for accomplishing the dare. I instantly turned my heel and cupped my face while silently exiting the room. I'm sure I am red as hell, but they don't need to know that.

  'Hey guys look! Miles is blushing!'

     Well of course, someone would notice that. I hurriedly ran out of that room and I swear I want to be buried 6 feet under ground. I like you that time already, not a crush yet but I know that I like you. Maybe it's the way you talk, or how gentleman you are, or because of that day. I don't know. I am sure as hell that you won't like me back because of my appearance, but what could a young girl's mind not hope for right? Things constantly change, so that means nothing is impossible. I am a hopeless romantic, can't deny that one. The question is would you accept me?

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     Then we were checking our TLE test papers one morning, everything is so peaceful. Everyone is very silent, of course who would dare create a noise when one of the strict teachers is in front. That time people started to tease me about you and vice versa. It was very annoying, but I was enjoying it. I don't know about you, for you always have that smug and bored face like there is no tomorrow.

     I swear everything was so quiet but not until the section next to us decided to make their presence known.

     ' MiKiel! '

     Well there was an awkward silence after the other section's shout before our classmates started to shout in glee and smack the table and express their feeling about the situation. I instantly turned beet red. Who wouldn't ? There's a teacher in front guys! The commotion instantly died down but that didn't stopped there.

     I was on my way to the canteen to buy lunch later that day when I heard a classmate of mine and someone from the other section talking in the corner.

    'What was the fuss all about during the second period?', Gisha asked.

    'I know their ship is so weird but Miles and Kiel both haven't answered the first page's back page ! Just the both of them! I think its destiny!', Jhone exclaimed.

    'Really? OMG! I am so going to tell Ivan this...bla bla'

     And they continued to gossip like I wasn't there. But hey, after that happened, you approached me later that day and asked me about my unanswered page too. You were so cheerful and you were laughing about our clumsiness (about not noticing the back page). You had an excuse though, for you have defective eyes (well, mine is also defective now).

     I still remember those times, when my feelings for you slowly started. I was so sure that you were just another crush but then you weren't. I am writing you another bunch of crap soon so, till then.

     Love, Miles