Do you know that feeling when you just bottle up all your emotions and thoughts for so long you're just numb?
I know that feeling very well. And it can be comfort to some, a sense of familiarity.
One day it all gets to be too much to keep in. The bottle cracks and starts to leak, nobody notices yet.
You still want to keep everything locked up, so you try to stop everything from spilling.
This helps for a little while. You try to be more careful and avoid people completely.
However there's always that one person that manages to slip through your walls. They get close to you. You're scared to let them in, you want to stick with what's familiar.
No one will notice that your breaking. They are blind to any danger from you.
At one point the people who do notice and get close to you, will get too close for your comfort.
Everything becomes to much again. You try to keep from cracking , but those close to you try to make you open up.
All at once you explode. The bottle inside you shattered, and everything spilling forth. It comes out angry and harmful from being trapped for so long.
You lash out at anyone around you. You just can't help it. Everything is too much, too fast.
Once you have calmed down, all you feel is regret. But the damage done is beyond repair. Any who had hope in you have given up. There is no one left.
This is a repeating cycle. Each time the bottle gets stronger and stronger, until you think no one can ever make you feel again.
Then everything changes. Someone comes along and turns your world upside down They are strong enough to handle your inner demons.
They push you until you break then are there to fix you. They don't let you bottle everything up anymore. You get used to being more open.
There comes a day when this all seems natural to you. You feel everything and are okay with that.
You. Are. Free.
Just hold on till that day comes along, trust me it will. This has happened to many. You are not alone anymore.
