Best Friend + Matthew Espinosa

52. He's proud of me.

TAKE A PIECE OF MY HEART & MAKE  ALL YOUR OWN. SO WHEN WE ARE APART, YOU'LL NEVER BE ALONE.

"I know there are some things we need to talk about," He takes a long pause, I have let him in my house. I thought about what Ryan said, he must have an explanation on why he won't tell me his past about his ex- Jessica. Also, I miss him. It felt like years since I've talked to him.

We're currently in the living room, on the couch. We aren't sitting so close to each other, but I wish to be. I still have my keys and the mail in my hand. I haven't said a word but indeed have looked at him in his eyes causing my heart to melt at how tired he looked.

"I think I should start off by saying I'm sorry. I clearly did not mean what I said, I was out of my mind and I-I.." He took a deep sigh, he rubbed his palms against his jeans looking down at the floor. "I know it's my fault, I should've told you about her a long time ago.. but I didn't think it was that important." He hazel eyes looks back at mine.

"I know I don't need to know every single thing in your life but I just want you to trust me. I will give you time and whenever you're ready to tell me, you can." Was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

"I trust you. I trust you, baby." He whispers, loud enough that I could hear. "I didn't mean what I said, okay?" He scooches a little closer to me, I didn't want to stop him and I didn't.

"It hurt. Hearing that hurt, Matthew." My vision blurred as the tears begin to form in my eyes.

"I know, baby, I know." I sniffed. "Before we started dating, I didn't want to admit to myself that I have feelings for you because I know in the end, i'll fuck everything up. Just like now. I messed it up, I lost you. That's what I am afraid of, I'm afraid of losing not just my girlfriend but my best friend who I trusted more than anyone."

"I didn't mean what I said too, I hope you don't think we actually broke up." I crossed my fingers.

"Good lord. Thank god, I thought you were being serious." He sighed in relief, I flashed him a small smile and sit next to him. I lay my head on the crook of his neck with his arm wrapped around me, I intertwine our fingers as he play with my hair.

I missed this. I missed his touch, I missed his voice, I missed him.

"I also apologize for mis thinking about you and Ryan, I just- I got all jealous when I saw him entered your house. I knew you weren't going to let something happen but I wasn't just sure about him, so I hope you understand." That guilt rushed over me again. When he brought it up, my mind brought up where I almost kissed him.

"It's okay. Will you apologize to him for scaring him?" He nodded with a cute smile on his face.

"Yes, I will. He's a great friend, I don't want to lose a great friend like that bitch." I smiled when I felt his lips on my cheeks.

"Now please forgive me." He whispers leaving soft kisses on my forehead. "Pretty please?" He did that eye thing he always does when we were younger, I wasn't surprised when did it.

"I forgive you. Though, I think I should also ask for your forgiveness." I said softly, I started playing with his fingers.

"No, you don't need to." He shook his head at me. "We're in good terms now." I nodded with him agreeing. "I love you." He reminded me.