Tell Me About Homosexuals (kkselfcest)[BOOK2]

Chapter 13 {END}

"Dave. I'm sorry about last night."

"Wow Karkat, is that any way to start a conversation? I just woke up too." Karkat could hear him on the other line, his voice so soothing no matter how staticy it was via a phone. 
‎
"Fuck off, I should have said something before we started making out. Like called you. Fuck, I don't know."

"Karkat. I told you it was okay to do the weird troll romance thing man. You've been down. I wanted you to be, well, more you again." 

"Asshole."

"You love me though."

He sighed, "Yeah. I do. Regardless, you can come home now."

"Sweet, time to tap that vantastick rump." He chuckled.

"David Elizabeth Fucking Strider I swear to gog, " he started, but was cut off by the sound of a kiss into the phone.

"Shush, Karkat, I'm kidding. I'll be home soon."

"Ok." He mumbled before the line went dead. He huffed and went to their room, collapsing on the bed and playing around with his mobile device. He had work soon, but it was best to confirm something with both himself, and Dave. 

He texted the human, regardless of the fact that they were just over.

:KARKAT. HONESTLY, NOT TO COME OFF IN SOME BAD WAY, BUT I'M NOT ENTIRELY FUCKING SURE IF YOU GET HOW HARD THIS IS ON DAVE
:MY DAVE SPECIFICALLY
:HE THINGS HE'S DOING ME SOME FAVOR BY SUCKING IT UP AND LETTING ME GET A KISMESIS WHEN I KNOW HE HATES THE IDEA OF IT
:HONESTLY, I JUST THINK THIS WHOLE THINGS IS A SHIT STORM WAITING TO RAIN ON OUR LITTLE PARADE. 

After a few moments of just laying there, the other responded.

:Seriously. 
:He's giving you a fucking option, just do what you think is right. Don't ask me.

:FUCK YOU. I'M EXPLAINING SOME THINGS TO YOU NOOKWIFF, I'M NOT ASKING FOR MOIRAIL THEMED ADVICE. I DONT FUCKING NEED YOU IN *THAT* DEPARTMENT. 
:IM JUST SAYING THAT IF DAVE SHOWS SIGNS OF NOT DIGGING THIS, YOU'RE OUT FASTER THAN MOLDY HOOFBEAST MILK.

:I'm Snorting out said molding *cow* milk as we speak. The very idea of you asking for best friend related advice is that appalling. The fact that I could be so pathetic that I need advice from another me. The lowest if low. 

:SHUT THE FUCK UP. 

:No, you shut the fuck up. 
:I get it Karkat.
:Hes your Matesprite, but he's more than that because you human love him and would do anything for him, including making yourself miserable by excluding beneficial health factor able relationships for your species. 
:Humorously enough, he loves you the same way and is willing to suffer so that you are, technically, healthy in mind.
:Why not think on that while you're at it. 
:Its sad that I'm human and I have better grasp on your own weird romance than you do, and you're the troll. 

:FUCK YOU

:because I'm right? 

:HNNNNHG
:YEAH. BECAUSE SADLY, IN THIS CASE, YOU ARE RIGHT.
:EXCUSE ME, I NEED TO RIP MY BODILY ORFACES TO SHREDS BECAUSE MY DIGNITY HAS JUST BEEN DESTROYED BY A LOWLY HUMAN. YOUR GOD WAS JUST TOLD BY HIS PATHETIC EXCUSE OF CREATIONS.
:SEE HOW MUCH SHIT YOUR GOD IS?

:hes a huge pile of shit.
:he makes me want to projectile barf onto the nearest grey surface and call it a night.
:by he, meaning you. 

Karkat rolled his eyes, setting the phone down. Talking to the other definitely changed his approach on all of this. He was right in the end. Quadrants were created to keep trolls physically and mentally sound, each one balancing and focusing on different aspects. Pathetically enough, human him was doing his job just right. 

At some point he had fallen asleep, curled up on the bed in a ball. Weight was added to the ‎bed as someone curled in next to him. A warm chuckle was heard, giving the troll a kiss on the cheek, before running fingers along his back. 

"Man, I can't wake you up. You're liable to hiss and scratch my damn eyes out." Dave muttered. 

He instead called Karkats work, informing him that, yes, a tragedy it was, Karkat mysteriously contracted human flu and wouldn't make it in. He did the same for himself. There was nothing wrong with a few breaks here and there. Then, he curled up with Karkat, wrapping a blanket around them, and napped with him.