Big is Beatiful

chapter five

I go home and think about what acuzio said “a women without confidence her words mean nothing", then I guess everything I’ve ever said meant nothing.  Or maybe I was just thinking too much into it I mean face it no matter how much confidence I have I’m still going to be fat and that’s how it is.

I walk in the shop feeling a little better than I did yesterday. Lilly comes out from the back with her hair down in plump curls. "At least somebody’s in a good mood today" I mutter under my breath. 'What you say" lily yells from the counter, I swear that girl has wolf ears or something. I decided no use and lying about it and told her what I said. “I said looks like you’re in a good mood to day".

The smile on her face gets bigger. "Well when you’re in love you can’t help but to be in a good mood" she sings out while waving her hand around in the most odd way.  It took me a min to realize the big rock on her hand. "Oh My God, You Didn’t lily" I scream. “I did" she screams back jumping up and down. “He proposed yesterday right here in the shop when somebody never came back from Mr. Scarface’s House.

I turn my head; I had been so caught up in the picture of his mother that I completely forgot to come back to work. Lily grabs my hand and pulls me to the back of the shop. “No time to worry about that now, but you going to haft to find a new coworker for a while". "What"? I say dumbstruck by the comment. “let me finish silly, me and him have decided to elope were living tomorrow" she starts screaming again only this time I don’t join her. she stops and looks at me" why aren’t you jumping up and down like me" I grab our order book full with this month’s projects "because how in the hell do you expect me to fill all these orders by myself" I slam the book on top of the counter.

Lily jumps back kind of surprised. "What is wrong with you every since that night at the restaurant you have become really cranky" lily smiles a sarcastic smile. I burst in to tears "you know what" I manage to scream through my sobs " just go take your damn wedding ring and just go, you’re always rubbing in my face about how I’m not skinny like you or perfect......and you know what the reason I left that night is because I heard your husband to be and that bastard talking about how I’m Godzilla and shit. At least your fiancé kind of defended me but that doesn’t mean he didn’t laugh". I slide to the floor exhausted from all my crying.

Yet it felt good to get all the frustration out. I look up to see Lily’s reaction but she’s gone, and suddenly I realized that she’s always been gone. She never cared, she never loved me, and I only made her look good. I put my head in my hands and sob silently to myself some more.

After what seems like hours I hear the door open “Hello? Is anybody here?" I got in to the feudal position hoping he will just go away. I hear the door open again... he left. I lay my head on the floor. Slowly I feel the darkness drift over me.