LET ME REVIEW YOUR WRITING ((paused for now i'm really sorry))

Some of us - a teen dystopian novel | theinkstainblog

a/n: this is pretty much the first review I've written- ever. Sorry in advance:

Summary:

Elias Fawkes is the traitor's son with a traitor's name. But in the year 2079, such crimes do not go unnoticed. Someone has to be made an example of and, after his father's suicide, the burden falls to Eli. All his life he's been one of the privileged ones, sheltered from the storm outside. Not anymore. Now he faces a death sentence. A slow one: doomed to live out his life on a farm prison until the age of 40 when he'll meet a swift end in the slaughterhouse. He isn't the only one who's had his eyes opened. People are starting to wake up to the horrors of this world. If he knew the things he'd have to do to survive, Eli might rather face his executioner smiling. Many trials lie ahead and all for a rebellion he didn't start. His name is Elias Fawkes, the traitor's son with the traitor's name. But they call him Steel. You'll see why.

///.

Review:

general

The summary of this story draws the reader in without giving away too much. It describes the main character and setting in enough detail, just enough to entice me, and yet still leaves me wanting more. The overall aim of the summary is met very well here.

The paragraphs are short, which can sometimes be too vague. However, I think the writer pulls this off, because it adds to the intrigue. A summary needs to be somewhat vague in order to make the reader want to find out what's going to happen.

The prologue of this book was so original and so alluring! I love it because it makes the reader feel like the story is happening in the world around them. It's a little dangerous, I've never seen anything like it. 

The first thing I noticed when I started to read chapter one was the humour. It's funny in a sardonic, sarcastic way which provides relief without straying from the theme of the story. I think it will be interesting to see if this sense of humour continues throughout the story, through all the hardships Eli will face. 

I think the conversational perspective is very new and interesting. The reader is almost like a little character in Eli's head, which I've never seen before and I think will help to immerse the reader. 

The descriptions of the other characters are very detailed, you get an impression of who's who right off the bat. Although, I would love more of a physical description of the main character. We get the impression that he's more of a conversationalist than his peers, which I think is interesting considering his environment.

The plot of this novel is very unique, and although it may be harder to pull off, I think theinkstainblog is doing more than enough to accomplish it. It's rare to see from the viewpoint of a prisoner without seeing what they did to get there, which i think is intriguing and will make the reader want to read more to find out. What's even rarer is the ideas and society that is reviewed a little later in the book. It's very chilling, to say the least. 

While the character descriptions are good, I would love to see a more of an in depth description of the environment and setting. They are in jail, yes, but what is this place like from a visual context? What does it smell and sound like? I think adding in these subtle details is crucial when it comes to immersing the reader.

There are certain actions that the main character does which leaves me wondering why. For example, in chapter three, Eli runs after a scream. I would love to know what makes him feel obliged to do this. What's his drive? I also think that in a real prison, if an inmate went running off into the night the guards might have an opinion or reaction. 

In the second chapter, I feel like there are not enough events to further the plot. Chapter one introduces you to the setting and atmosphere, and chapter three starts exploring the society the story is based in. While chapter two does reveal and hint at certain things, (it's so hard to describe this without giving it away to anybody who might be reading this!) I feel like it's not enough information to be it's one chapter. Maybe mix elements of of this chapter in to the first and third ones.

My last critique is the genre of the book. I'm a teen, and while I thoroughly enjoyed what I've read so far, I don't relate to it. Teenagers are confused, and we need something that we can find ourselves in. If this is for teens, maybe refer to them a bit more. Are any characters teens? Are there any struggles the characters have faced that your average teenager might?

grammar & spelling

I didn't find a single fault in any of the first three chapters! Correct use of punctuation and sentence lengths was achieved, and sophisticated language was used and correctly spelled, too!

overall

I found this book thrilling. It was perfectly unique, yet not far-fetched or over the top. The characters are vivid and so is the writing style. Modern society in 2079 is described aptly, and the reader definitely sympathises with all of the character's struggles. You understand why these ideas are put in place, and are given freedom to form your own opinion on them.

I'm definitely going to continue reading this on my own!

LINK TO ANY OF THOSE WHO WANT IT: https://www.wattpad.com/story/80189245-some-of-us-a-teen-dystopian-novel