Reaching Infinity

February 1, 2014

Do you remember when I complained about not being able to feel? Now I crave it. I haven't written in a while because too many bad things happened and I didn't want to talk. I have more friends now. I think they care. I just wish my old ones did too. Jordyn doesn't talk to me at all anymore. I don't think he wants to. I can understand that though. Why should you talk to anyone without any reason to? Waverly dated a boy for a while. She said she really liked him and he was her first kiss. He called me stupid and said Waverly liked him more than me. That hurt, especially when I told her he was a jerk and she started talking to me less and less. Thats when I started to believe him. He was more important. Charlotte said some mean things about me, I heard about them from other people. I always thought we were protecting each other from that. I still go to the old art room every Thursday. The kids like me there. They call me Batman and watch me draw. I've been drawing a lot lately. My parents hate me and I know it for sure now. They don't just show it anymore. They say it. 

I really love heroes. Want to know why? They save people. They risk their life to keep someone safe. Barbara Gordon, Batgirl, was shot in the spine. Her legs were rendered useless. She kept saving people anyway. Superman destroyed everything he had left of his home for some people on Earth that wanted to turn him in. The Winchesters battle the monsters under our beds, dying over and over and risking never seeing each other again.

Everyone battles the demons inside of them. So, I guess we are all heroes. Thats a great thing to be. I just wish that sometimes, we could help each other battle the demons, instead of being alone in the fight. That way, when the people you love suddenly turn their backs on you, something is left. I have a few people who try to help. I like them a lot. Its good because they don't care if I just want a day to sit in the art room with my headphones on. I don't always have to talk. When I do, they listen and they don't judge me for it and when they fight, its only play. I just want to know that my old friends still care too though. I still care about them. I want to help them fight when they are hurt. I only hope that someday a hero is strong enough to make me want to keep the razor from my skin. I need a hero to make my parents love me and all the people I care about so much come back. I hope there is a hero like that. 

Love Always,

Quinn