No Longer A Game - Sidemen FF

Chapter 22

Vikkstar123
"Vikk!"

I jerk my head up from my video I'm editing. I have to blink several times to clear the dots from my vision, then slump back into my chair. "Yeah, Josh?"

"Are you coming out tonight? We're leaving now," Josh says, leaning against the doorframe.

"No," I say tiredly, turning my head back to the video. Can't he see I'm editing?

"Come on, Vikk," Josh says, and I can almost picture him rolling his eyes. "You need to take a break."

"I'm fine," I say, not paying attention to Josh. "Go have fun."

"Vikk," Josh sighs. "I'm sure your fans won't mind if they don't get six videos a day. Take a break, even JJ noticed you're overworking yourself."

I would be shocked that JJ noticed something, but I honestly haven't got the energy. I wave Josh off and I hear steps lead off from my room.

I feel like I'm on autopilot. I can't do this.

I was never around. I moved out of home and rarely visited. Did she know I cared about her? Couldn't she see any other options? Maybe if I'd been around more she would've felt loved.

I sink my head into my arms, leaning on the table. My head pounds and I feel freezing. I dig my fingernails into my palm, focusing on the pain.

"Vikk?"

I look up slowly and see Ethan standing at my door.

"Come on, man," he says, gesturing me forward. "Let's go. You need a drink."

I don't even realize what's happening until I'm in Josh's car, driving towards some bar. I rest my head in my palm, leaning on the window. I close my eyes and just listen to the conversation around me.

"What's up with Vikk?"

Simon, I register dully.

"I don't know."

"How'd you convince him to come, Ethan?"

"I don't think I did. It's like he's sleep-walking."

"It's like he doesn't even know what's going on around him."

Their conversations all blur into one until I hear, "We're here."

Someone shakes me and I sit up. I robotically reach for my seatbelt and open the door, letting myself out.

"It's a block away," Josh says, but it sounds like he's underwater. "The rest will be waiting for us there."

I half-mindedly follow Simon as he crosses the road, staring straight at his back.

My eyes struggle to stay open.

I follow Simon tiredly through crowds and traffic, not really paying attention to the passing time.

I wonder if this is how she felt. So...numb.

I sort of come to my senses when Simon stops walking. I look up wearily and see Tobi, Calfreezy and Harry.

Tobi pulls me into a quick hug and claps me on the back. "Vikk, man! I haven't seen you in so long." He regards me with a sympathetic look but he hides it and acts normal.

I nod, limply letting him hug me.

"That's because he's been avoiding recordings with us," Simon says.

I haven't. I just haven't been putting my hand up for them.

"What do you mean?" Tobi asks, confused. He steps out of the hug, giving me a friendly smile.