It will not let me sleep. I guess I'll sleep when I'm dead.
And sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head.
As much as I hear these words, they hit me more than they ever have. I close my eyes as a single, cold, staining tear rolls down my face. I turn off my cheap iPod that I got a couple years back. I grab my backpack; it has my ukulele, cash, my iPod, and some clothes in it. I've been planing to escape this place, but I still knew that today was not the day. I run down the steep stairs, tie my flannel around my waist, and head to the kitchen.
There, I found a "lovely" image of my "mother" smoking a cigarette and drinking a bottle of cheap vodka."Where do you think you're going, you piece of shit." She announced sarcastically. Like she even cared. Still I answered like she did though."There's something big going on at the church, I at least wanted to show up so no one gets suspicious." I said while I was scavenging through the fruit bowl. Why does she even buy fruit if she knows it's just gonna rot and smell? "Oh you still believe in that God of yours?" She chuckled. She thinks Gods not real, or he hates us, or something like that..."Caitlyn why do you need a whole bag? It's not like you're leaving me? Right?! Cause you know what will happen if you do." All I got from that sentence was her glare. Her hard, stone cold glare. "Yes mama..." I shuttered just thinking about it.
I have to walk to the church since I don't have my drivers license; because we don't have a car. My mom goes to work with a friend. Usually I have to steal a bike from the school in the afternoon, but I got caught last week. So now, I'm being watched, but it's only three miles away.
When I finally got to the church, everyone was already inside the worship center. So I walked to the cubicle area behind the church. I sit on the Railing between them. I slowly pull out an old, beaten up, wonderfully crafted, ukulele. My dad gave it to me on my sixth birthday. He died two years later, on April 2,2009. That's when my mom turned into something I didn't even recognize. I didn't see her most of the time.When I did see her, something bad happened. I'm usually sexually, mentally, and physically abused.
When I was 11 I learned how to express my feelings towards it. cutting. I try not to do it a lot but, sometimes I need it. I miss the feeling of it. It's so addictive. Sometimes when I do it, I puke. But that's only when I haven't done it for a while though. I place my gentle finger tips neatly over the strings. I started to play Migraine, considering I had just listened to it. I look up around me and it looks to be around 10. I continue playing, but after a couple minutes I hear voices.
'Probably some church volunteers.' I said to myself.
~~~~~~~~~~~Tyler~~~~~~~~~~~
Josh and I were heading back to the bus after our show at the church.
"Man that was a full crowd tonight!" I said with a smile on my face.
"Yea man, I hope we get that reaction everywhere." We both stop; pause as we see a dark figure next to our bus. Whoever it was, they were petite. I look over at Josh and gave him that look. I start to head over to where they where. As I get closer, I notice they're playing an instrument, and I hear it. It's a ukulele. I know that instrument all too well.
I hear a soft voice along with the music. They're a female. I wonder if she was at the concert. Once I'm over there I stand for a little while, but she doesn't look up. I sit down on the rickety railing next to her. Her voice is so sweet and innocent, but I know that she's seen shit. She's singing migraine. Her voice gets tender, and she starts to cry. Then she buries her head into my chest and bawls. I wrap my arms around her."Shhh, Shhh..." I pause. "Everything is going to be okay...".
She slowly lifts her head to see who I am, and cries harder. I knew she was a fan, so I just sat and comforted her. "I've been listening to you for years...how...why at my worst moments do you appear?" She asked softly. "Sometimes life through unexpected things at us when we weren't expecting it."I can feel Blurryface wanting to push through. "Do you want to meet Josh?"
I said with a smile."Why wouldn't I?!"She laughed, some what cheerfully.
I took her over to Josh, so I could get my medicine from the bus."You can't hold me back forever Tyler...I'm going to escape; and who knows what will happen to your new little friend." Blurryface rang through my mind."SHUT UP BLURRYFACE!!!" I yelled.
~~~~~~~~~~~Caitlyn~~~~~~~~~~~
"SHUT UP BLURRYFACE!!!" I look over at Josh and he has this expression on that scared me. Josh sprinted inside "Tyler?Tyler?!" I hear Josh scrabbling through the trailer. He runs out. "Come on Caitlyn! I can't find Tyler!" He jogs; I jog after him. I was in track so I could keep up. "TYLER?TYLER?!TYLER!!!". We stop jogging and just stood there. Josh looked stressed, so I walked up to him.
I grab his shoulders."He's going to be fine, we're all going to be fine." He peers over me with his 5'5 stature;and hugs me. I hug him back "This little bean" I tell myself. "I'm not worried about him, I'm worried about everyone that meets him..."After he said that I understood. It was his alter ego.Blurryface. The next thing we hear is rustling from behind me. "Get behind me." Josh pushed me behind him. I look over his shoulder to see Tyler...or Blurryface...or...Them? They had blood on their hands. Dripping. Josh and I couldn't tell wether it was theirs or not. He looks down at his hands. Slowly he looks up terrified, then falls...
