With Hope and Passion {Harry Potter}

Longing Thoughts

Dear Harry,

I have waited years to tell you this. I haven't had the courage before now, but hey, we can't all be Gryffindors. Since our first year at Hogwarts, I couldn't stop thinking about you, and I wanted you to notice me. I didn't realize then that I would grow to love you. No matter how much I hate you, I love you. Oh, I hate that I love you. Every night, I long for you to be mine, yet curse you for never wanting me. Why must I pine over you, when you only think of me with disdain?

I wonder if you feel the same way about me. If you realized how I tried to gain your attention. Stealing Longbottom's remembrall so that you wouldn't forget me, becoming seeker for Slytherin to be your rival, and all those years of trying to talk to you, but getting scared and mocking you. Then you had to fall for that Weasley girl.

I imagine it would be difficult for you to forgive me for all that I have done to you in the past, but we were so young, and I was terrified of further tarnishing my family's reputation, especially because of Father. The deep prejudices I learned from them have faded as I spend more time away from my family, and I have realized the faults of my youth. I hope you can accept my apology.

I know this confession comes too late, and I doubt you will do anything except confirm your contempt for me, but I beg you to consider me. I can barely stand the thought of spending the rest of my life never knowing if you love me. I promise that I have reformed from the dark arts since my short time as a Death Eater.

With Hope and Passion,

Draco Malfoy

Draco set down his quill and stared at the parchment in front of him. It taunted him with its fragility. He could in an instant destroy it, and bury his tortured emotions in the shreds of paper.

"But I want to know," thought Draco, as he looked at the crumpled papers strewn around the study, failed attempts at putting his sentiments into something cohesive.

He wanted to find out how Harry felt about him, if he could finally be happy.

He stood up from the ornate ebony chair and snatched the parchment from his desk. He looked over his writing one last time, his heart pounding at the thought of Harry reading it. What if he never replies? Or shoots down his advances? All of the possibilities whirled around his mind, making him sick with anxiety.

Draco could hear his eagle owl screech from within its gilded cage, distracting him from his worries. Draco shook his head, then folded the parchment neatly in half. He procured a cream-colored envelope from a desk drawer and slipped the letter inside. He reached into the same drawer, removed a jet black ribbon and tied it around the envelope.

He strode to the owl and, using his free hand, unlatched its cage. The orange-eyed bird hopped from its perch onto Draco's shoulder, waiting expectantly for its master to give it a command. Draco walked to the window of the study and thrust open the shutters. He held out the envelope and saw that he needed to address it.

Draco then realized something. He had no idea where Harry lived. It had been six years since they left Hogwarts, and he had only seen Harry once afterwards, at a Christmas party three years ago, during which they merely exchanged pleasantries. He wracked his brain to remember any detail that could help. He was just about to give up on ever getting the letter to Harry, when suddenly he recalled that Harry had become an Auror. That meant he could send it to the Ministry under Harry's name, and it would reach him. There was a chance that the letter would be opened and searched, but that was a risk Draco was willing to take.

He pressed the letter against the cobblestone wall and scrawled across the front of the envelope.

Harry James Potter, Ministry of Magic, Level Two, Department of Magical Law Enforcement, Auror Office

"Now," said Draco, handing the letter to his owl, "Take this to Harry."

The bird launched off of Draco's shoulder and stretched its large, beige-brown wings. It soon disappeared into the dusk, filling Draco with relief, and then more anxiety . All he could do now was wait to see if Harry responded. It took the responsibility off of his shoulders, yet left him powerless in the situation.

He sank to the floor, his knees touching the plush, midnight purple carpet and his arms resting on the window sill. He looked out across the sprawling gardens bathed in twilight, and slowly drifted to sleep, his thoughts still focused on his questionably unrequited love.