Lost Love (Robbie Kay/ Peter Pan/ OUAT)

Chapter 18

I can't tell how long it has been since Peter passed. Days? Weeks? Months? It seems that life is jsst not worth living anymore. Everything is just one little blurp in time. The wonderful blue skies with Peter have turn dull and grey.

I think after a day or two, Sebastian took me to his palace. I have been living with him ever since. I haven't been eating a lot, and I never leave my room. Sebastian is getting worries, but I couldn't careless. I couldn't give a damn about everything, even if I wanted to. My happiness and strength died with Peter .

It has been mirserable. I feel so alone, so heartbroken, so weak. I have considered suicide lately. Whats the point to live when the only thing worth living for is dead? My life has just been pure shit. I want to die. I want to be with Peter.

I feel so guilty. If I just could've shut up, then Peter would still be alive. And the whole Sebastian thing, I hope he realized that I never could have loved him the way he was hoping I would. My heart was filled to the brim with Peter. I don't think that one person could love anyone or anything more than I love Peter.

A tiny knock of the door departed me from my thoughts. Soon after Sebastian walks in with a worried look on his face. I haven't moved in days.

"Melody, we really need to talk about this," Sebastain says.

I remain silent. I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk to anyone besides Peter, but thats impossible.

"Melody please," Sebastian begs. He scoots over to me and sits on the other end of the bed.

"Want to you want me to say," I murmur. It took all the strength in me to say those words.

"Anything. You need to get up, move, shower, and rejoin reality. This is not natural Melody. Its been 3 months and you have eaten the eviliant of two meals," Sebastian spoke.

"3 months? Has it been 3 months already?"

"Yes. Have you seen outside since we came here? Its the spring," Sebastian informs me.

"The spring?" The last time I remember seeing the outdoors was when there was a fresh layer of snow covering the ground. Where has time gone?

"Yeah, Mel. I got the horses ready, and I was hoping that you would want to go for a ride with me."

I nod in response. I guess riding a horse is a right idea. Sebastain leaves me in my room to refreshen up and get changed to ride. I take a quick shower and put on a light layer of makeup. Makeup seems so foreign to me now. Well it has been 3 months since I have put it on. I slip on black skinny jeans and a blue blouse. My black hair was uncontrolable. I made due with it though. It stood in elegant waves down my back. I look scrawny in the bathroom mirror. Ghostly. My pale skin has turned into a sickening almost transparent tone, and my body was all skin and bones. It was scary looking into that oval mirror.

I don't know why I am putting this much effort in just going out for a ride. I guess focusing on the tiny details helps me cope with the distaerous past couple on months. I think there is a small part of me that hopes that Peter is still walking the earth. Its silly, I know, but I have to wish for something. Its the only thing that keeps me going.

I slowly make it down the stairs. My legs failed me a couple of times. Almost all the muscle I had in my legs have disappered. I haven't walked in ages.

Sebastian was waiting for me by the stables. It took me a while to find the structure, considering the fact that I haven't really explored the palace yet. He looked happy to see me up and walking. Two horses stood next to him. One was as black as the midnight sky, the other was as pure white as a newly fallen snow. It seems like where ever I go, those two colors keep on reappering. Those were the colors of the horses that Peter, Wendy, and I took to go to the infamous cabin.