"Fear; the emotion in which, when coursing through your body, can still you to the bone, where you start to sweat in mere seconds, when you can't think properly, not even able to form the word; help. It out shadows everything else, leaves you breathing without air, begging without words, living without a heartbeat. You could say that living a life in fear is like not even having a life at all, because the constant stress of worrying, the paranoia stopping you from living normally: freezing at every sound, sweat forming when eyes are on you, shaking when feeling someone behind you, flinching when someone touches you, unable to speak. You start hearing voices, seeing things that aren't there, the nightmares. It's when people start to notice is when you know you're in trouble; at first it can be easy, putting on the stiff mask with the painted smile. Always hiding the feelings that you truly really feel. The loneliness eating away at you, making you fragile until that one thing that makes you crack, the mask falls and everyone sees that your bright colours are in fact dying and grey. Then the whispers start, they pretend to understand but when something happens they blame you, they say they are always there for you but when it gets worse and the depression kicks in, they all turn away, shunning you, pushing you outside. When you try to squeeze back in they ignore you, claim that they don't know you, tell people stories, make up lies, and then it starts: the verbal abuse turns into physical, the harsh words turn to pushes, punches. Those sneers into laughs as they watch as you fall, trying to grasp at the edges, pull yourself up, only for them to stand on your fingers. Some people try to help, but not many, most live with the fear that the threats will turn real and turn a blind eye. They know that you can't go to tell anyone for if they are punished you will too, only yours will be worse and the bruises will become darker and the scars will reopen. Fear is powerful and deadly, it has the power to destroy, to ruin lives, to kill people. To hold fear maybe the greatest force against people but too much of it and it can turn on you, drive you mad, clawing at the walls, trapped in your mind...
...I'm scared..."
