For The Rest Of Our Lives // an Orson Krennic fanfic

Chapter 4: Loneliness

Orson's POV

I literally just let her escape... how could I be so fucking stupid? I turned back and walked away, I knew Tarkin would find out and he'd tell Vader and the Emperor... please someone kill me.

I headed to my shuttle and decided to go somewhere, after a few moments of thinking, I chose to go to Geonosis, I kinda missed being there.

After landing, I realized I was alone in one of the very few planets that weren't under the Empire's control... (I literally made it up, I'm guessing it is but I don't really care bc I needed this) well that would be interesting, why couldn't I have a calm day when absolutely nothing happened, no explosions, no rebels and especially no Tarkin... I hate Tarkin more than I hate rebels, and it doesn't really surprise me to be honest. I tried my best not to bump into a rebel now that I wasn't with any death troopers in this planet and my outfit just screamed 'EMPIRE!' So I was slightly scared at this point

"No!" I heard someone whine, I knew that voice, but where had I heard it before? "Bodhi please!" Bodhi? Wasn't that the pilot's name? "you have to take us to- shit!" It was the girl who had helped Carrie escape, I still didn't know who she was, but she looked somehow familiar "what are you doing here?" She asked, Rook was behind her but a few Stormtroopers were approaching them and I really didn't know what to do, was I supposed to stay here? Cassian started shooting the Stormtroopers as he headed to where we all were and Carrie was behind him, she looked at me and froze, she looked absolutely terrified when she saw me.

She got her blaster and began shooting, I frowned, she knew how to shoot, I knew that, so how did she miss the ten shots? I didn't have too much time to think before two guys began making everything near us explode I didn't know them and the Rebels didn't seem to know them either "Carrie! Get out of there!" Bodhi shouted as a bomb landed in front of her, no one had time to react before the bomb exploded, throwing all of us a few meters away, making everything blurry and making me freaking deaf, I got up when I could finally move and went back to where we all were, surprisingly, I wasn't hurt too badly, I spotted someone laying unconscious not too far away and I went to see who it was and if they were dead because I'm not an asshole and if someone gets hurt by the same bomb as me... well, I'm not leaving them, I don't care if they are in the Rebellion... or redeemed pilots? What the-?

I walked to the pilot and checked if he was still alive. He had a pulse. The rest had to be near, I got up again and walked a bit more... walking after being thrown away by a bomb isn't as easy as it normally is. I ran, or tried to, and saw Cassian, but he was waking up, fuck, I had to run, I didn't want to get killed by a Rebel, especially not Cassian.

I left before he could see me and headed to my shuttle, which I had luckily landed far enough for it to survive the explosions, I got closer to it and saw Carrie being helped by the other girl since she was badly injured, I almost felt bad for her... but nah, there was someone with her already and if I got too close, I'd end up dead or maybe capured, so I got in my shuttle and went back to the Death Star

When I got there, I saw Tarkin waiting... I knew this would happen, why did I even consider going back?

"It has come to my knowledge that you let a Rebel escape earlier today" he said in his usual monotone and indifferent voice "what do you have to say about that?"

I tried my best to hide my urge to kill him and answered, surprisingly calm "why should I answer? No matter what I say you won't believe me or even consider the fact that I may be telling the truth" he glared at me and I felt sligtly happy that I had pissed him off

"You should and will answer because I'll be telling Lord Vader what happened and it won't end well, Director"

"Are you threatening me, Governor Tarkin?" He smirked, that sick bastard, I hate him "just be glad I am not killing you right now" he glared at me againg and I turned to leave

"Maybe I'll be the one who gets the satisfaction of killing you, Director Krennic" he said before I left, I closed my eyes, trying to keep my anger to myself

I walked to my room and locked the door, I didn't want any Deathtroopers nor officers bothering me right now, I unclipped the cape and threw it on the floor (striptease music may or may not had started playing in my head when writing this), sitting on the bed and sighing, resting my face in my hands. I was so done with everyone in this Empire, they all treated me as if I was a piece of shit, the only thing everyone in the Empire wanted was power -I include myself in that- but everyone had someone they could rely on, the Emperor had Vader, Tarkin had Vader, and Vader had both of them... what a fucking love triangle... I didn't care that they had each other, but I felt like I needed someone to rely on... the deathtroopers were just bodyguards, they weren't what I needed in moments like this

I laid on my bed and closed my eyes, I didn't want to think about anything related to the Empire... I just wanted to not feel lonely anymore

For some reason, my mind went to the Rebels, to one in particular... Carrie. Why was I thinking about her now? I wanted to get my mind away from all the shit that's been going on lately

But... I couldn't help but wonder if she was alright after what had happened earlier in Geonosis, she looked pretty injured and fucked up, I didn't want to think about her right now, but my mind obviously loved me as much as I love Tarkin

I had to get away from everything, but I just couldn't, no matter how hard I tried, I was tied to this war and the only way to escape was dying

I groaned and got up, why couldn't I stop thinking about random shit and sleep? I looked out of the small window and looked at the closest planet, I realized we were getting further away from Jedha, I didn't know where we were going to, but I didn't really care, or I tried not to at least

After a while, I got tired of seeing stars here and there and went back to bed, I closed my eyes and, finally, exhaustion took over me