I'm so done". I've never felt so alone in my entire life." I wore in my journal for the umpteenth time in a two month span.
"Ever since we moved I haven't talked to one person besides my family and the teachers at school. I left everything I've ever known in that little town. To be honest my family doesn't care, they think that I'm perfectly fine and have plenty of friends at school. But that's the point, that's the opposite of what's really happening. I have one friend which doesn't sit by me at lunch, I walk alone to all my classes, and I sit alone in my room, on a Friday night, online talking to my only friends back at home." As I write my mom obnoxiously knocks on the wooden door.
"Sweetie, dinner's ready." She says walking into my messy room.
"OK. I'll be down in a few minutes." I say, ripping the warm blue blanket off of my legs, facing the cool November air. I through on some sweatpants and a rather large hoodie and walk down the twisting stair case.
After dinner I went upstairs and took a shower. Lathering my body with the vanilla scented wash, I heard a rapid knock on the door. It was my brother.
"SOFIA!! GET OUT. I NEED TO GET A SHOWER TOO YA KNOW!" he shouted out to me through the locked door.
"WHATEVER DYLAN!"I yelled back to him. "I'll be out in a second."
I finished washing myself and turned off the water. When I walked out of the door I was hit with something white and thick, whipped cream.
"DYLAN!!
MOTHER!! HE DID IT AGAIN!!"
"OK, you need to calm down. It's just a little cream, it can be cleaned easily. As for you Dylan, I will be talking all of your electronics for two weeks, in result of your actions. You know better than to do that. Now I'll be in your room in three minutes tops to grab all of your stuff." She lectured.
"Thank you." I say confidently.
"Go clean your face, you look ridiculous, Sofia.
I washed my face with cleaner then put on the same pants and oversized sweater. I combed through my long unnaturally black hair and put it in a sloppy bun.
"Oh gosh, I look like a raccoon" I thought to myself looking at my makeup covered face in the mirror. I grabbed my concealer and putting it under my eyes and gently blending it in with my natural skin. After I lay in my bed listening to music.
"Sometimes you gotta fall before you fly
And sometimes you really live, you've gotta try
We can change it all together, in the end you're gonna find
That what we felt in our hearts was real the whole time
When you open up your eyes, I hope that you find
Who you are, who you are
Who are you now?
Who are you now?"
I sing along to the familiar lyrics. I hum along and drift to sleep.
The next morning I wake up to the noisy alarm clock ringing in my ear. I unwillingly rip my cozy blankets off my body and start to get ready. I put on a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a ranbow gay rights muscle tee. I brush my unruly hair before straightening it. I did my normal makeup, simple eyeliner and mascara with a bit of concealer. I slipped on my moccasins yelled a "good bye" and walked to the bus stop. The bus comes right at my only friend Caleb's house. It's convent because he lives right around the corner from me, so I just met him there. When I got there he was just walking out of his house talking with his friend Russell. If I'm being honest, I really don't like Russell. He's always rude to me and likes to make fun of my whenever I'm at Caleb's house. He also likes to irritate me a lot. Russell is always pushing me or hitting me but it's jokingly I guess... I still don't like him...
"Hey Caleb." I said in a raspy morning voice.
"Hey! How's my favorite girl's morning goings so far?!" Caleb said overly perky.
He was way too perky in the morning for me. I'm never happy in the morning unless it's Saturday, a holiday, or we have an unexpected day off of school. So yeah, basically what I'm saying is that I'm NOT a morning person at all. If you wake me up before nine thirty to ten o'clock, well, just prepare for your death.
Anyways, the bus came and once again, I sat alone. I don't know I just got used to it? No one caring about you or what you do besides your parents. Even your parents don't care as much as they probably should. You just stop expecting more of everything. And even when you do get the attention you want you hide behind your hair and long sleeves. You push everyone away. You try to convince yourself that you're alone and no one cares or ever will. That is, until you found that one person who does care. That one person who actually truly cares. Whether it be a boyfriend/girlfriend or just a regular friend. They will care for you and stick with you until the very end of your lives. I just haven't found that one person, but I'm hoping that I will soon enough because to be honest, I'm tired of being alone.
When I got to school I went to my locker and grabbed my books. Next thing I know I'm on the floor. Honestly I thought that it was just another popular pretending to be sorry for pushing me down and possibly bruising my tail bone. But it wasn't, it was a fairly attractive boy. He had light brown hair and olive skin. He had glasses and was kind of was known around the school. I've personally heard wonderful things about this person, based on my excellent eavesdropping skills. He looked down at me with his gorgeous blue-green eyes.
"I'm so sorry! Are you OK?" he kindly asked me half smiling showing off part of his braces.
"Yeah I'm fine thanks." I say and slightly blush.
"Here, let me help you with those. By the way, I'm Cameron" Gesturing to my books and other stuff.
'Oh OK. Thank you." I say awkwardly. He picks up my books and brings them to my locker.
"Thank you again, for helping me with my books and stuff." I say shyly.
"It's nothing really, anyways I'm the one who ran into you" he said to me. ."
Was he flirting...?
"Um, I was wondering if I could get your number or take you out sometime... If you don't want to that's perfectly fine too. I'm not trying to pressure you into any-"I cut him off
Well that answered my question.
"I would love to." I wrote down my number on his arm and closed my locker.
"So I'll text you later I guess?" he questioned.
"Sure." I giggle and walked off.
I walk off humming to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" by Nirvana
When I get home I feel my phone buzzing in my back pocket. I type in the password and open a text that says:
Hey it's Cameron. i really hope this is the right number and not a fake...
I write him back saying that it's not a fake number and its really me.
We talk for hours on out and he asks me to go to the movies to see some kid movie thing.
When we stop talking it's like 12:00; so I go to sleep.
