listen to the music, then read it. or read while listening.
————
Later, Rusty would blame G-Man.
If he wasn't in such a bad mood, listening to Joji, he wouldn't say to Rusty to go research.
"His works as Joji Miller are incredible", G said, blasting Old Yeller in the background, "but his works as Pink Guy are funny. Well, some of it."
Bet you've a wreck like this.
Anti would laugh it off. His demon friend wouldn't like G or Bagel that much. Ethan could see why. They just wouldn't fit.
As he and Anti left, he was already researching mentally. His database was bad, but at least YouTube worked perfectly. He was listening to Pink Season mentally when they got to Ethan's house.
"See ya, bud. I will charge for a while", he smiles to the friend.
Anti raises an eyebrow. If the demon knows something, he's hiding. He waves to Rusty, just leaving one last warning – "if you need anything, call me!", – then the demon fled.
Ethan didn't technically lied. He was gonna charge himself.
He just needed to visit a place first.
————
Sneaking in and out the building was pretty easy. Staying in, it was a whole another thing.
Ethan felt the panic spiking in as he went to his old backstage. Everything was there, untouched, as it was cursed.
"Geez. Touching my stuff won't break you as it did to me", Ethan laughed sadly. He grabbed the case, felt the curves in his hands, then the place was too much for him. He left as quick as he got in. That place was bad.
No one even noticed that Ethan was there. If they really wanted to catch the robot, they would have to be more attentive.
———
He sat on his bed and checked his battery. 40%. Good enough to what he wanted.
Putting the task in the background, he pulled the cords to the song. Caressing the case, he opened it, taking his old ukulele from inside.
"Hello, old friend. I hope you give me some peace today."
He played with the strings, seeing that those were still good, then he tried to mimic the song he was listening just a moment ago. It was four notes.
He played it until it felt right, and the lyrics blurted out of him.
I wake up in the mornings
Sinking halfway through the bottom
There's a loud distorted screaming in my soul;
He breathed out, surprised with himself.
Everything is dark and empty
And I don't know how to fix it
So I curl up in a ball
And cry in the comfort of my home
He didn't cried like the humans. When he was still Cranky, he would. But now as Rusty, all that comes out of his eyes is oil.
I don't know why
I feel like shit;
I say I'm fine but I'm not fine.
He growled the last part and censored himself. Why be so angry? It was only him in that place.
Then he noticed. He was angry with himself.
I'm dying inside
And all I see are demons
He chuckled at this line. Yes, he only saw Anti and Dark, because they would understand better than G, Bialar or Morgan. Hell, even better than AntiMatter.
I try to hide all my deepest feelings.
That was true. No one – not even Anti, his best friend, would know how damaged he was. Even more than physically or his databases - his emotional.
He repeated the chorus, flavouring the words. They felt... Right.
I think there's something wrong with me
'Cause all I see is death
Everytime I go outside
I look like I've been doing meth
People would stare Rusty because he looked so weird. His scars, his quirks, his dripping parts. He was scary. He was a robot, for fuck's sake. That made people terrified of him.
And I sleep for nineteen hours on a Thursday afternoon
And every now and then I cough up blood
And I don't know what to do
He didn't coughed blood because he didn't had any. He coughed oil. Sometimes, some screws. He was hiding that from everybody. No one could know.
I don't know why I feel like shit
I will not see a therapist.
Who would believe him? He was just a stupid malfunctioning robot that was supposed to be shut down a long time ago.
He hated himself so much.
Then, things got out of hand.
Ladies and gentlemen, if you wanna fucking kill yourself put your fucking hands up, razor blades in the air everybody!
His body started to shake. He felt weird and something resonated through his body.
He felt a yell left him. It was part of the song, so he kept yelling "hey!"s, until they turned into helps.
It was too much. Every electronic in the house shaked and started to function. Lights flickered, random noises filled the room. Gizmo, the gear, got scared and flew around Rusty, trying to grasp what was going on.
Then everything turned black.
————
"Is he alright?"
Ethan is slowly gaining his conscience back. He checks his battery. 60%. But how?
Then he opens his eyes and sees Bialar, G-man and Antisepticeye all looking at him, worriedly.
"Welcome to the living, friendo!", Bialar jokes, but he seems a bit distressed.
Ethan opens his mouth to ask how, but G is quicker.
"I felt some waves coming from here that were abnormal. What was that?"
All of them were staring at him. He gave up.
"I was trying to sing. I guess it got out of hand", he shrugs.
Antisepticeye still doesn't seem convinced. He puts his hands in Rusty's shoulder.
"Are you okay, Ethan?"
That black eyes staring him. Hoping for a good answer.
Rusty didn't wanted to disappoint.
"I'm fine."
————
yep. that was mean.
