The Drummer's Boy

Chapter 9. If He Really Loves You, He'll Let You Go

It was exactly 12:53 PM when George saw her.

Barbara was standing at the end of the bed, looking down at Jon & George. George awoke suddenly, aware of her presence.

"Barbara? What the hell are you doing here?" George slowly opened his eyes. Perhaps he was dreaming?

Barbara smiled at him & turned around & proceeded to walk into the bathroom. She stood in the doorway & beckoned George with her hand to follow her.

George slowly got up off the bed, careful not to wake the sleeping Jon. He walked slowly, & cautiously to Barbara.

Barbara was dressed in a hospital gown & her blonde curly hair was a mess. If George had to guess, it looks like she too just rolled out of bed.

She grabbed George's hand & led him to the sink. She looked at George & smiled. "You know what you have to do." She glanced back at Jon.

George shook his head. "I don't understand."

Barbara opened the mirror & took out something. She closed the mirror & handed George the small item.

He looked down at his hand. A razor.

George laughed. "If you wanted me to shave you could've just asked me."

But Barbara was not laughing, nor smiling. She shook her head. She pointed at the razor. "If he really loves you, he'll let you go."

George stared into Barbara's eyes, trying to find answers. But her face was expressionless.

He looked down again & shook his head. "I still don't understand."

She took his hand & gripped the razor. She then took his other hand & placed the sharp razor on his wrist. He understood now.

He tried to push away from her but her grip on him was too strong. He tried to struggle out of her grasp but looked like a prat, so he stopped. There was no way he could run. She was much too strong. But how was that possible?

George was scared. "Why the hell do you want me to cut my wrist? I won't. I bloody hell won't do it!" He screamed.

Barbara covered his mouth with her hand. "If he really loves you, he'll let you go." She repeated.

George was shaking. Tears were forming in his eyes. He closed them & tried to breathe. "If I do this, will you leave Jon & me alone? Forever?"

Barbara stared at the ground & then back at George's hands. She took a while to respond, but then nodded. "Yes."

George nodded & opened his eyes. He made the slow, painful effort to cut a thin line across his wrist. "How long do you want me to do this for?"

Barbara leaned over & whispered in his ear. "Until you slowly feel you're life draining away from you."

George moved the razor below the first line he cut. He cut another line, & another, & another. He moved on to his other wrist & did the same process.

He stared at his arms. Not one hint of bare skin that wasn't cut showed. George stared in horror at what he did & backed away. He tripped an something & fell backwards, hitting the wall. He sat on the ground, leaned against the wall as he stared down at the floor. He tripped over a knife. A knife.

Everything in his head told him to pick it up, so he did. He held it firmly in his hand & put it up to his throat. He gulped. What the hell was he doing? It was a dream, just a dream, it had to be. He had no control of his body anymore. He screamed. He kicked his legs & hit the wall as hard as he could. He has to wake up. Wake up. Wake up...

Barbara leaned over him. Concern & worry was plastered on her face. She reached out to touch him, but this time, he was able to fight back. He kicked her & flailed his arm at her to punch her or hit her. "GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME! YOU DID THIS TO ME! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO?! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" He screamed.

Suddenly, Barbara was gone & was replaced by Jon. Jon grabbed his flailing arm. "George! George it's me! I'm not Barbara. Do you need me to get you some help?"

Jon stared hard at George's arm. He saw the knife held against George's throat & lunged for it.

George saw him coming & struggled to run. He managed to get up & run from Jon. He tripped multiple times, but never fell over. Why was he running from Jon? He just wanted to jump into his arms & cry.

Jon caught up with the struggling & now breathless George. He grabbed his arm & spun him around. He fought like hell to get the knife away from George. George wanted to let go of it. Why couldn't he let go?

George's hand grew weak, just enough for Jon to take the knife out of his hand. He threw the knife across the room & pushed George to the floor & held him down by both arms. He was struggling to get away, kicking & screaming.

Jon didn't know what happened to George, but he did know what he needed to calm him down. He kissed George. All of a sudden, he stopped struggling. He stopped kicking. He stopped screaming.

Jon pulled away & stared at the flustered George. Jon pulled George closer & held him in his arms. George was breathing heavily & tears blurred his vision. He cried. He couldn't help it. He was so scared. What happened?

Jon rocked him back & forth & crooned. It calmed George down a little bit & he stopped crying.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Jon asked.

George didn't know what to say, so he said what he did know. "Yeah, I think so. I-I don't know. I had no control of what I was doing. What if I- what if... next time, I hurt you?"

Jon shook his head & whispered. "You won't."

George started to cry again. "You don't know that. I couldn't stop Jon... couldn't stop. I'm so scared Jon. I am so.... scared."

Jon never stopped rocking George back & forth that night. He kissed George on his forehead. He buried his face in George's neck. "I know George, I know." He muffled.