Andy

Back story

"Kay my name is Kay I live in California in an orphanage, I've been here for 13 years. I'm 15 turning 16 this year I have dirty blonde hair and I'm about 5f 4-5 ,I would love to know my real family but I can't, no one knows who left me here when I was 2. Far as long as I can remember non of the kids have liked me I don't know if it's because of the way I dress the music I listen to or something else, I have a part time job at hot topic. I go to school so I am getting an education and that's a bit about me"
"Thank you Kay that's all we need you can go back to your room now if you want."
"Okay bye" I run out of the room and sit on my bed looking at my body like normally wondering why I look so ugly and imperfect my scars all up my legs stomach and arms. As I sit back on my bed someone bursts in throws something at me
"YOU UGLY EMO SLUT!"and they leave
This is what I get for being different, weird, not normal like everyone else I choose to stand out and be myself. I'm abused by the other kids. I'm not like other people I relate more to people on the Internet not in the real world. I stand up and walk up to my desk and put out one of my blades I don't do anything I sit in a corner and steer at it, it takes me back to when it all started I was 12-13 I can't completely remember but what I do remember is that fateful day I was walking around school alone like always when Caz was away, she was my only friend until she turned on me like it felt like everyone did. I was going to class when someone one of the girls walked past and tipped a red drink on my pants fucken white pants she said sorry sarcastically when she laughed at me a yelled at everyone OH MY GOD KAYS ON HER PERIOD!!! I was 13 this was embarrassing for me. I ran away and as I went to the bathroom I felt like everyone was steering and laughing I got to the bathroom and luckily I had a pair of black shorts in my bag when the girl came in and took a picture of me and ran off, I got changed and went to class, art something I like until I realised some girls laughing at a computer screen and looking at me, I ran around the table to see this is what it read with a picture
Hey everybody my names Kay and I don't know what a pad or tampon is so this is what happens when I go to school I think I should just kill myself
All the comments were saying the same thing
She must hate herself I wouldn't be able to live anymore
She's so ugly we would be better off with her dead
If I was her I would have killed myself years ago
Her mother should have considered an abortion
She has no mom or dad she an orphan
The rest of the month was like this Caz started hanging out with them and I was alone I went back to the orphanage and broke my razor and started cutting I know I shouldn't have but I was and I couldn't stop. It wasn't until PE when my teacher asked me to come up to the front of the class and demonstrate something when he saw my arms he didn't say anything but he did tell me to stay after class he gave me a whole lecture on why it's bad and if I kill myself I'll be missed by my friends and family as I walked out the door the last thing I ever said to him was I have no friends or family I'm alone no one cares. But I'm still alive why.
I come back to reality with tears running down my face and realise I did it again my arms bleeding I get up and clean it up and go to bed.

Sorry if this is triggering for anyone but I think if I tried to explain it at any other part it wouldn't workout