I feel as though you've never been told beautiful words, regarding yourself.
By this, I mean that you've never had your cloudy blue eyes compared to the sky after a storm.
or how you always seem to be the calm after my own storms, that always seem to explode within my cranium.
or how your soft brown curls wrap around my fingertips, like the bows tied on Christmas presents I never received.
or how your beautifully tanned skin, kissed by imperfections, taunts me as I've never had the pleasure to touch.
or how your perfectly shaped lips spit venom that's always targeted for me. Hurting me, time and time again, though I'd never tell you that.
or how those same pink lips stay clasped, enclosing the gap between your two front teeth. That very gap reminding me of how close we could be, but there always seems to be space between.
but your ignorance and hostile demeanor that I hate, masks the personality of the boy I've had the pleasure to really meet.
a sweet, compassionate boy whose heart has been through hell and back.
the boy who has cried, and let me in.
the boy whose voice cracks when he's hurt, like my mirror I threw at age nine when my mom told me I would never be enough.
and the boy who has finally made me feel enough.
that's my best friend.
I want you in the most selfish and innocent ways.
I want your euphonious laugh clouding my worries at 3pm.
and your arms enveloping me as my anxiety rolls in at midnight.
and your smile awakening me at 10am on mornings I'd rather be dead.
I want your company, and you to feel what it is like to be wanted just because of who you are.
to be wanted solely because of your heart.
-again, not a love letter.
