A collection of thoughts

2

I don't know who I am, or why I am.

I just know I am.

I haven't seen the sun in many days. My life now is completely dark nights.

I haven't felt another in weeks, I've been alone in this departure from happiness and safety. My world no longer feels alive.

I am alone.

Alone in the black that is night. I am a wondering soul.. a wounded soul.

I am alone.

I spend most my nights behind the wheel.

Driving and screaming have become a lifestyle under the moon. When you're alone, and in pain maybe you'll experience the same.

I spend other nights behind this screen. The thing I care about, nothing more than a computer. I don't even care about myself nearly the same. 
I would risk my lone life to save this thing...
A computer.

There are few in my life now. I ask them what it's like to see the sun. I ask them if it's still yellow or if the rainy weather from the night carries itself over to the day. 
They tell me the things I wish I could experience. I feel nothing but darkness and that too scares me. 

I am alone. 
I am alone.
I am alone.
I am very alone.

If my life ended now there would be a sigh of relief coming from what body I have left. I haven't seen the light of day, but perhaps the light from the fires of Hell would please my eyes.
All I want is warmth.

I want to remember what another person feels like.
I want to feel that release of tension when you hug someone.
I want my world back.
I want to remember what love was like.

Why was this how it had to be? Why did it end up this way?
My bed empty, her's fuller than it ever has been...
why did she have to leave me.
especially for him..

I am alone.

Maybe it's for the best.

The night is my last real friend.

It can't break my heart.

only my spirit.
It can't destroy my mind

only heal it.
and maybe I am not alone

now that I am under the night sky.

Maybe I over think, maybe I think too little. Whatever it is, whatever is tearing me down like this:
leave me alone.
The voices clawing at me need to stop.
I am not alone. 

the world cares about me.

I am stuck in the night with no escape. 
I am alone and forgotten.

This is his fault. 
I know he doesn't care about her and that's what makes it worse.
I know he will hurt her and she's just too ignorant to see.

I don't care that she left me.
I care that she's making bad choices...

I care that she's hurting.

But I am alone.
Filled with hate.

I care.

But I don't. 

I'll leave it alone.

Like how she left me.
I am now alone.

I am alone.