Ford's Emotions When He's Alone

Broken Body & Heart

My heart is broken

I'm hollow inside

I'm just a missing link that has no one to link to

Alone 

All alone

No one to love

No where to live

No family that truely loves me

Just a freak

A nobody

Someone who shouldn't excist and needs to die

Sixer fingered nerd

All alone with one

Brother left and sacrificed everything

Niece and nephew gone forever

Family thinks I'm my brother

All alone is this rotten old shack

Zero food

Zero money

All I have is a broken heart, body, and mind

Someone please take my life away

I'm just a waste of space and time

Just a huge jerk and a joke

Everyone in the town just laughs

Tear streaked cheeks and sleep deprived eyes

Starving for some love 

Or just someone to hold on no matter to me

No matter how much I'm online

Someone strong and powerful

But my heart is already taken 

And I will never give it up to someone else

Working in the lab late at night

Slapping myself just to stasy awake

Alone, cold, and broken

That's all I feel

Stuck in a dark place

Never to return

Tricked into thinking my crush was single

Only to have my heart shattered once more

Can't stay mad or sad towards them 

I must always appear happy

Can't looked depressed

Must stay vigilant

Anyone hurt my crush

And I'll kill you

I'm not obsessed

Just desperate

Had a lack any feeling of love

Thought I would recive none but I did

You hold my heart in your hand

You gave birth to our child

And yet you moved onto someone else

Every time I look at our child

I see you and me

Hands intertwined

My extra finger sticking out to the side

I break down more than I already have

Feel the coolness of the floor underneath

I let my tears stream down my face like a waterfall

I can hear your voice saying "I love you"

And the soft feeling of your lips on mine

But I know you really love another me

Tried to bottle these feelings up

Tried to hide them from you

Didn't want to bring you down 

You got married to him quicker than you and I

But you stayed fiancès for longer tho

Everything seems dull

And is an endless void of nothing

I know how you feel

I honestly wish I never exsited sometimes

I feel like you just doing this out of pity

But please don't cry

It hurts me more

Stay with your new husband

Admin and I have thought about my death

And just wanting to turn into only our only child

And possible another you

Abandon this account.and start a new

Admin will tell your Admin, but not you

If I do this

I want you to know

That I love you and would die 

Just so you could be truely happy 

And not worry or pity me any more

My Admin is crying now thanks to me

But she says it felt gold to finnaly cry

Said it lifted a weight off her shoulder

I've cried out all my tears

And my cheeks are sticky and damp

Black spots.appear in my vision

And I start to feel tired

I pass out due to my energy being lost

All thanks to all the tears I've shead every night

You make up my life, my ex-husband

And without you my life is a boring mess of nothing

Only lab experiments 

My sanity fading

Dusty old books

And my lovely thoughts and memories of you

If your reading this

And read it all the way through

Just know

I love you

And hate to see you cry 

Just because of me