It was dark. It was slimy. I was sharing the womb with my twin brother Shelby, and hes trying to swim too the light, but you see i had to be first. So i grabbed his umbilical cord and pulled him back. And then i sparta kicked him in the face screaming "THIS IS LABOR!!!" and i was shot out of the random rabbit hole i saw. OH NO!!!! Im surrounded by weird people in masks, and a lady with her legs spread like the horizon. Its 23 minutes later. And the man in the mask. Said "push. The other baby boy is coming" and me. Being the crazy satan spawn i was. I started to think. "Maybe i can wrap that weird belly cord around his body and squeeze him like a pimple" you're probably thinking. Wow for a baby. You thought some good words. Its true. I did. I really did. My enemy is now born. That enemy is my brother. Fast forward to now. To this day. He is still my enemy because im like some nerd who likes to make fucked up jokes about 9/11. And then laugh harder than anything. And now Shelby. Hes a fuck boy who just uses them girls as cum dumpsters. Or sometimes he makes em a twinkie. Fillin them up with the creamy goodness. But anyway hes pretty bad and im pretty good. But he will always and will remain to be. My enemy my worse half. The brother i never wanted. IM KIDDING HES OKAY.....most of the time
