Between the Lines

prologue

It's unusual, isn't it? Life.

You could be the happiest, wealthiest person on this planet, yet feel the emptiest. You could be smiling one minute, and then crying the next. That's how life works. It isn't all sunshine, rainbows, and happiness. There's so much more than that, another world we fail to accept exists. 

Maybe if we accepted that a world like that existed, maybe then people wouldn't be so scared to open up and admit how they feel for fear of being judged and mocked.

Maybe then I wouldn't be standing on the edge of a cliff, overlooking the ocean at one in the morning, as the rain dripped down my already drenched clothes. 

I ran my cold hand through my damp hair, my eyes fixated on the drop below. 

Was I really going to do this? Throw away everything I had, for darkness? I could genuinely hear my parents screaming at me right now. Telling me how selfish their son is, and how they wished their son could be greatful for life. 

In all honestly, I am grateful. I'm grateful for everything I have recieved in life, even if I didn't earn it. I was happy, or at least so I made out to be.

I looked around me, through blurred vision due to the rain, and the fact my hair was now stuck over my eyes, I saw the Lighthouse my grandfather and I rebuilt. I smiled slightly. If only he were here, then maybe someone would be able to stop me. Maybe then someone would be able to remove all these negative thoughts from my head and fill it with happiness like it once was.

I missed him.

When we received the phone call from the hospital of his passing, it's like everything around me came crashing down. I tried so hard to keep a smile on my face, for my family, my friends, my girlfriend; but look where it led me? It led me to my demise. 

This seemed like the perfect place to end it. It was at the far edge of the forest, right next to the abandoned lighthouse. 

No one would bother me. 

"It's time..." I mumbled to myself, dangling one foot off the edge, my breath catching in my throat. Was this really what I wanted? To be gone from existence? I pulled my foot back and sunk to the ground, my head in my hands.

I was so pathetic.

The noise of a twig snapping made me jump and jolt upright. Looking behind me I noticed a figure of a girl coming towards me, her hands folded across her chest. Looking closer, I noticed she was crying. 

"Hello?" I called out. The girl looked up at me and wiped her eyes, obviously not wanting me to see her crying. When she was in clear view she looked at me and then the ocean. 

"Are you going to do it?" She asked. I looked at her startled, not knowing what to say, "Well?" I shook my head and looked away from her. 

"Leave me alone." She let out a small laugh. Did she find this amusing? The fact I wanted to kill myself? "Look, I want to jump, and you can't stop me." Silence. "So just leave me alone."

I heard a noise to the right and noticed that she was standing beside me. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see that her hair, was just as drenched as mine, just like her clothes. She turned to face me, her brown eyes filled with sadness.

"Who says I want to stop you? I want to jump too."