Trying to numb every part of me , my heart included. Numbing myself because if you shoot a man who is paralyzed in the legs he doesn't feel it. Groundbreaking, dogs barking, blood boiling, and I still find a way to walk. Hating who I'm becoming but I know it's necessary to keep time from repeating. Years before I wasn't ready this year I'm preparing myself. Trying to make a connection but trying to keep my truest feelings away from the surface. They trying to catch my weakness.
My weakness lies within you.
Cradling my baby girl life is in my hands, I can't help but see that fire in us. Trying to avoid love and stay focus on work. Trying to keep up and adjust... FUCKING time is getting the best of me. I know you can hear my thoughts I hate when you act like you don't. I'm chasing a lifetime of escaping my heart. We aren't normal. Constantly changing as we age , humans fail constantly at making the right decisions Time after Time. I've become cold and unresponsive. Unresponsive.. that's who I'm becoming. The girl who could never shut up has finally shut down. Becoming someone nobody likes but who I must. Screaming into pillows because I'm becoming hell on earth. Throw bleach on me hopefully the flames go away. Snoring but head is wide awake. I'm the reason for all the pains. Had I pulled that trigger awhile ago And you wouldn't have met the girl....Ledge WALKER
