Who Knows

The Worst Storm

There's a calm before every storm and I'm calling this storm "Tony".
Tony was such a disaster I'm probably going to split everything up into different parts. I met Tony the summer I was falling apart with Charlie. I had a crush on him but we were just friends for a while until we turned into a relationship. Everything was honestly great for the first few months, we fought here and there but nothing was horrible yet. I think around December was the first huge red flag I noticed. We would always read one another's messages from people and he found really old messages from a guy I used to have a crush on. Tony got really jealous because I was still friends with this person and he deleted him from my Facebook. I remember I was particularly very uncomfortable with him being close friends with his ex who still had feelings for him but I was seen as ridiculous for that. I was seen as ridiculous even though he deleted my friend from my Facebook because I had a teenage crush on him....okay. For the next few months we just bickered a lot about stupid things until May came around. For the first time we ended our relationship and I was torn up. He didn't have a reason for it, he just broke up with me and told me "your flaws have just become glaringly apparent" 1. What flaws and 2. You don't say that to anyone, ever. My friend at the time wanted to make me feel better so I did my makeup all pretty and we went out to a cute little tea bar. I posted a picture of me looking utterly adorable with a dog and he instantly messaged me asking where I was. When I told him he got upset, he never liked me going to the tea bar because he said "it's a bunch of free love hippies" meaning they don't care if you're in a relationship or not they'll still hit on you. Which for the record, I was never once hit on while at this place. I just sat and talked to my friend and everyone was very respectful and kind. Even if I did get hit on, why does that matter? I was single wasn't I? He still tried to control me even when I wasn't with him. A few days past by and I just stopped trying to mend things and I think that scared him. He wanted me close just in case he decided he wanted me back. Eventually we were back together and I was convinced this just made us stronger. Definitely not. Our relationship was never the same after that first breakup and I could always feel it. He was always questioning every single person I talked to and oh boy this was great, he didn't want me using heart eye emojis to other people. Even to my best friends!! I'm sorry but if you get insecure because your s/o is sending CARTOON EMOTICONS to their best friend you really need to reevaluate yourself. He constantly wanted to read through my messages and it made me uncomfortable because I started venting to my friends about what he would do and took this as me criminalizing him when I was simply just getting feelings off my chest. I was still going to the tea bar behind his back to be honest because it was ridiculous I wasn't allowed to go. Around July, we broke up again. This time he felt like I wasn't treating him right and that's probably true. I was so fed up with fighting all the time and I wasn't interested in trying to make conversation anymore and I became really distant because it always some kind of argument. Regardless of that I was still heartbroken. I blamed myself for everything when he was part of the problem too. He told me he wanted nothing to do with me but still kept me close to make sure I didn't move on like I should have. My friends were amazing enough to keep me busy and I'm always grateful for them. One night I was the tea bar with my friends when I get a call from another friend and she told me that Tony was seeing another girl. I was so done at this point and I told him not to talk to me. That probably scared him because the very next day he wanted to "work things out". I wish I wish I wish I would have said no. But he had me wrapped around his finger and he knew this. This is when the storm became bigger than I ever thought it would.

*Editor's note* okay I've only had 2 reads on this BUT one person added me to their reading list and I know that's so little but it makes me happy that someone is excited to read more?! The story of Tony is far from over but I wanted to put this out!! Thank you to the two people who have read it so far, I'm amazed that even 2 people I don't know were interested to read!!