The struggle of love

Intro

Hey I'm April! I'm fourteen and I'm a socially awkward girl who can't even talk to her crush without being a little cold towards him. I have a crush on this guy called Apollo who is dreamier than a combination of a badass anime guy and a fit surfer. I've known him since the start of high school. Back then I admitted i liked him and he heard. Since then I've tried to avoid him so he won't know. I'll tell you why i fell for him it's because he was there for me and defended me when things were bad. It was like a click i felt between us but i don't think he nor anyone would understand. I now call him Senpai 'cause i watch too much anime
and its better than saying 'crush' or 'Apollo' so its better to say Senpai. Being in the third coming up to fourth year in high school I've fell more in love with him than Apollo even knows.
Although word goes around that he's going out with another girl called Lillian. Lillian is literally the opposite of Apollo; shes pessimistic, mean and care free. She has long brown with dip-dyed blonde hair and green eyes and wears a crap-ton of makeup. Compared to me i have natural blonde hair, dark brown eyes and i only wear lip balm and mascara so I'm not seen as pretty and I'm treated as if I'm ugly but i don't understand why society is like that and thats why i cant be with Apollo even if it costed my life.

Authors note:
In my opinion makeup doesn't reveal the true you and hiding yourself away behind foundation and bronzer isn't the best way to be seen as because you will be seen as you with makeup on but if you didn't then no one would see you the same way. I think that you should be you and never mind what others say you will be more natural than those who are fake, you just have to believe in yourself.