Reckless heart

Ordinary

I am a perfectly ordinary person. I hate clichés, but I am scared of becoming one of those cliché people who pretend to hate clichés. There is a ridiculous amount of things that annoy me. Keyboard warriors are one of them and the moral police is another one. I can never appreciate reggae music because all the songs sound the same to me. I hate being stuck in one place and the thought of not being able to jump from one city to another scares me. There are things I love on the other hand. I like trainers. I have a pair of Superstars that I have been wearing since I was a teenager. They have been to three continents with me and have seen me grow from an insecure teenager to a reckless young woman. I like the ocean, although I would never admit it, but I can hardly swim. My little rolls of belly fat would look terrible in a swimsuit. I am far from being ugly, I was blessed with a pretty face and nice hair, but I am far from being anything gorgeous. I am way too short, got a bit of belly fat and sometimes I forget to shave my legs. I always have some food stain on my clothes, I am always leaving hair strands everywhere I go and my bronze colour make up always gets into everything I touch. Once my design teacher called me coarse and indelicate. My hands always felt clumsy ever since. I eat with my mouth open, I sometimes skip showers, my craving for sweet food is porcine, I am ridiculous. I like to think myself special, but I am nothing but ordinary. People like to see the world in black and white and often ignore the grayish shades. They like to classify people as good and evil. In real life, people are often compelled by situations, their actions often influenced by ignorance and most importantly, situations and actions often judged too quickly by people swimming too deep in ignorance themselves. Way too many people want to make themselves feel special by convincing themselves others are bad. I refuse to stoop to this. In todays politically correct world, I want to embrace who I am and I feel happy looking at others embracing who they are. I love dressing up in skimpy clothes and hitting nightclubs with my friends, but I am also very capable of devoting my heart and soul to my job and studies. I was stoned once, in Amsterdam, and I ended up in the hospital. The doctor said I was cute for being so scared and sent me back home. I am also the person who would study until 1 am everyday because I wanted to invest in my future. I am neither irresponsible nor completely in control of my life, I am a reckless heart trying to make my way through life. Call me Zara, imagine me in a red dress and my used superstar trainers.