The knife.

Chapter 1

"NO,NOO!!!" I screamed full on in his face,
"You're lying,you're lying" the hot tears of pure anger and sadness poured down my cheeks. A lump developed in my throat causing me to choke. My throat was growing hoarse.
"No!" I whispered weakly all energy drained out of my body.
He put his arm around my shoulder.
"Get off!!!!" I shouted causing him to jump.
"You just don't get it" I stood up and pointed an accusing finger at him.
I opened my mouth then closed it again.
"But Lil I do" he said softly and reached out and touched my shoulder gently. I slapped it really really hard. So hard it went white. He shrank back shaking his hand. I stormed out nearly dry of tears. My head was spinning vigorously. I barely made it into the hall when my legs buckled and everything went black.

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I woke up to my mum by my side dripping camomile tea down my neck. My sisters favourite. I wretched violently over our new cream carpet. To be honest I didn't really care because he bought it. I looked wearily up at my mum. There were purple bags under her eyes and her whole face was quite swollen up but she still managed to sport long hair extensions and fake nails.
" I know, I know" she soothed. I dragged myself up onto my feet.
"No you don't know" I whispered threateningly
" You never really cared. All you fecking care about is that idiot of a man, Jordan. You just ignored us and she had to look after me and now that's she's gone I'm nothing."
"Of course I care!" She shouted at me, taking me by surprise.
"I gave birth to you and raised you all on my own, while men just came and went faster than you could ever know!!"
"Well I do know something, Jordan's just going to play you like all the others did and then leave!" I screamed.
"Lil" my mum sobbed "How could you say that? I thought you were happy for me."
"And there's the proof" I choked,
"If you really would have payed attention to us you would have seen how unhappy we were!!"
I stormed down the hall and opened the front door.
"Lil" my mum said softly.
I turned around and glared at her then slammed the front door shut.
I stumbled blindly down the road. There was only one person I could go to. One person that really cared.
Matt.

Hope you're enjoying it so far ;)

Chapter 2

I rang the doorbell and stood there fidgeting.
"Lil" exclaimed Matt excitedly
"Co.. What's up?"
I looked up.
"No need to explain I just really need you now."
"Of course babe Ill always be there. Is there anything I can do to help?"
I didn't speak. I just kissed him. A long lingering kiss. We pulled away. He looked down at me grinning. He closed the front door and led me by the hand into the sitting room.
"I love you" he said " so where did we leave off?" I grinned despite everything.
I didn't get time to answer because he latched his lips onto mine. Sparks flew. I stayed the night because I couldn't face going home.
The next morning I shook him awake.
"Matt,Matt" I whispered into the darkness.
"Ye"he groaned
"I have to go my mum will be worried."
"Don't go please, stay for a bit longer."
"No." I said firmly, catching his hand and kissing his stubbly cheek.
"Ok, but text me soon."
"I will." I reassured him
I tiptoed quietly out of his room and onto the landing, then made my way to the front door. I opened it and was met by a dusky light with a little nip of frost. I shut it gently behind me and headed home. And even though I was warm, my hands were shaking in my coat pockets.

Chapter three

I stormed into the house and slammed the door shut. I really didn't care if I woke anyone up. But there was no one to wake up, everyone had gone. I was confused. Normally my mum was always there to greet me when I came home from wherever. Well it was better without her anyway, I didn't need her I was nearly an adult.
I chucked my school coat on the floor and sprinted up the stairs. I lay down on my bed with my phone, put in the earbuds and turned up the music. Maybe I did it to relax, or maybe I did it to block out the thoughts nagging in the back of my head.
After a while my ears started to buzz, so I took out my earbuds and just lay there thinking. Suddenly without warning all the memories came flooding back and I was paralysed with grief. I buried my head in my hands and cried.
Eventually I ran out of tears to cry. I wiped away the ones still clinging to my cheeks and went into the bathroom to splash some cold water onto my eyes. It's crisp freshness revived me. I went back into my room and turned to see myself in the mirror. Not the best sight ever. I looked at myself mournfully. Average everything. I brushed off my skirt. Not a flat stomach even. No curves either. I sighed heavily. Loose ringlets. Light brown long hair. Grey eyes. Pale, sickly skin. A scatter of freckles along the bridge of my nose. I turned my back on my reflection. Sometimes I wish I had never been born.

Chapter 4

The front door slamming shut, made me jump. I heard my mum kicking her shoes at the wall.
"Why would he do that?" she sobbed, to her friend Chantelle.
"With all I've been through recently. With Meg and Lil. Lils distraught."
I crept onto the landing and listened intently.
"Yeah, I think she's at Matts house, she's just trying to forget it all, that's all."
I took a step further, the top stair giving a loud creak.
"Shit!" exclaimed my mum, looking up the stairs where I was standing framed against the sunlight. She let out a deep sigh of relief.
"Oh thank God it's only you! You scared the crap out of me." she scolded slightly.
I could see she had been crying. Her swollen red face looked ridiculous against her black mini skirt, her fake pink uggs, her strapless luminous pink tube top, her cheap extensions, and crappy fake nails. She looked more like thirteen than a fifty year old woman.
"Chantelle, thanks so much for listening, I really appreciate it. I'd best tell Lil what happened now" her voice cracked slightly "bye, see you soon"
She hung up and placed her Nokia block on the hall table. She turned to me, then looked away and buried her head in her hands.
I put my arm protectively around her spray tanned shoulders and guided her gently into the living room. I rubbed her back soothingly while she managed to choke out what happened.
"Lil, it was horrible. I went to Jordan's house just to get away from it all. We were kissing and he was trying to lead me upstairs but I broke away and told him no. I really felt uncomfortable about it and what with Meg and everything......" she trailed off.
"Go on." I encouraged.
"He slapped me really hard and told me I was a stupid bitch and to get out of his house. I broke down into tears, I could see that his eyes softened at the sight of me, but then they hardened again. "Please!" I begged him "Jordan, please!!" He then grabbed the top of my top and tried to pull it down but I screamed, so loud he backed away and before I could think what I was doing I punched him really hard on his nose and kicked him where it really hurts. Then I sprinted out the front door and never looked back"
"Oh." I said quite speechless.
"And to make matters worse.." she trailed off again and broke down into and endless stream of tears.
"Please mum." I whispered.
She struggled to say what it was.
"L..iL...." she stuttered.
"Yes." I crooned.
"I...I..got..a..a call from the guards before the incident with Jordan to say that they have discovered a knife at the crime scene."

Chapter 5

My breath caught in my throat. My heart was pulsing faster than it had ever had before. A lump was starting to develop in my throat. I felt sick.
"Lil, Lil, honey?" my mum whispered looking concerned.
I gasped for air. My head felt light and my arms weak.
"No." I gasped "No. No, they couldn't have."
I heaved myself up from the sofa, my knees knocking violently. I collapsed in a heap on the carpeted floor, and burst into yet another stream of salty tears.
"Lil." my mum called softly, offering her arms.
I stood up making my way blindly towards the sofa. The sickness grew in my stomach. Then everything went black.

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