By Now

It's been days since Jamie has returned home. She's been staying with a friend to try and ignore that her relationship with Casey has been falling apart. She feels so helpless, Casey has been so distant and irritable lately. She's starting to have a feeling that the next time she returns home might be the last, she isn't sure how much more she can take. She knows she has to go back soon, but she desperately doesn't want to. She's just so nervous. She shakes her head and shuts her eyes tight, deciding she'll go back tomorrow and see what happens.

How've you been? Can I come in?

Just came to get my things, and then I guess I'm leaving

Jamie nervously puts her key into the hole to unlock the door; she has no clue what's going to happen next.

She reluctantly walked into the apartment, towards their lounge. She goes in to see Casey sitting boredly on the couch, staring at her phone.

"Um, hey Casey," Jamie says softly.

Casey doesn't even look up, "Oh hey, where have you been?"

"Oh, just out," Jamie replies, her tone of voice making it clear that she was lying. Casey just nodded in response.

"Can we maybe talk?" Jamie asks quietly. Casey nods again, and locks her phone. Jamie slowly sits down. "So, I've been thinking lately, and I think it might be best if I move out for a while, I just-- I need some space," this statement seemed to wake Casey up, as her eyes were suddenly wide, and her expression frantic.

"What? Why? Why would you just leave me on such short notice?" she questions, becoming angrier with each word.

"I'm really sorry, I just can't stay here right now," Jamie replied, her voice trailing off by the end. She then cleared her throat, "I'll stay here for tonight, but tomorrow I'm leaving".

Casey sighed, and moved her gaze to the floor, "How long will you be gone?" she asked softly.

If I could say what you'd like to hear

I'd whisper in your ear it's only temporary

"I don't know, Casey"

Casey sighed loudly, "Alright, whatever then, I'm going out. Not sure when I'll be back," and with that, she got up and stormed out of their small apartment, slamming the door behind her, but not before giving a small mutter of, "You're so selfish".

But I've been taking you for granted

    Jamie sighed and put her head in her hands. Maybe this wasn't the right decision. She furiously shook her head; she needs this, even if it hurts Casey, or strains their relationship further.

She spent the rest of the day getting her things together, and feeling slightly guilty for leaving on such short notice. Maybe Casey was right. Maybe she was selfish.

And I thought you'd feel the same as me

It's time that I come clean, but

But for now can we just both pretend to sleep

    Hours had passed. It was currently one in the morning, and she had heard Casey come in just a few minutes prior, but she never came into their room.

Jamie's stomach crawled as the thought of leaving tomorrow crept back into her mind. She still could hardly believe that she was doing it, but she knew it had to happen. Maybe after she gets some space their relationship will be stronger than ever before. She shook her head; she was kidding herself. It will probably be the end after she leaves. She eventually fell asleep to the soft hum of their heater, but only after sobbing into her pillow.

Sometimes the one you want is not the one you need

What goes around don't come around

Jamie grasped her bags tighter as she walked towards the door of their formerly shared apartment.

    "I'll miss you," Casey said softly.

Jamie just scoffed and shook her head. "I'll see soon," she responded, and with that, she left. She threw her bags into her car, and hopped in. She had decided to start renting an apartment on the other side of town. She clutched the wheel as tightly as possible and stared ahead at the road, trying desperately to not let the tears flow. She knew this would probably be it for them, but she desperately didn't want it to be.

Jamie could tell that Casey wasn't being sincere when she left. She was feigning sadness because she wanted Jamie to pity her. She didn't really care. And that broke her heart.

You should know me by now

A month had passed. They hadn't talked once. Well, Jamie had tried to contact Casey, but she wouldn't answer anything. Casey's silence had shown Jamie exactly how she felt.

Jamie sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She was currently standing in front of her old apartment. She had decided it was finally time to break things off. She cautiously went to knock on the door.

The door opened almost instantly. "So you're finally back," Casey said coldly.

Jamie narrowed her eyes, "At least I tried to keep in contact. You couldn't even respond to one goddamn text!" she yelled in reply. Casey just groaned and rolled her eyes in response. "Y'know what Casey? I think it's for the best that we break up. This clearly isn't working out," Jamie snapped.

I should know you as well

Casey gaped at her. Her eyes were full of disbelief, but that quickly faded to anger. "Fine then! Leave me! See how much I care!" she shouted.

"I'm sorry," Jamie replied softly, before turning around and leaving for good.

Our talk is small, I'm seven inches tall

And you should keep the apartment

So here's my keys, changed all the bills

It's been months since they had broken up. Jamie had wanted to try to stay friends with Casey, but whenever they talked she made Jamie feel so small. She would call her names and blame her for the crumbling of their relationship. Of course she had believed her; Casey hadn't done anything wrong. It was Jamie's fault for making her irritable. Her friends had tried to tell her otherwise, but she couldn't believe them. Not to mention that she was the one that had broken it off anyways; she shouldn't feel nearly this horrible. But she does.

We're only built to spill and wonder where the heart went

And you've been taking me for granted

It took her months to realize how toxic their relationship had been. First she had cried to her friends about how upset she was when she broke up with Casey. Then it took a lot of convincing from her friends to realize it hadn't been her fault. Casey was the one who had distanced herself. Casey was the one who decided to let herself get angry. Casey was the one who decided to stop caring. And it still hurt Jamie a lot. She wasn't sure if she would ever manage to get over her. She had been so hopelessly in love with her, and sometimes she still couldn't believe it was over. But it was getting better, day by day.

I know that I remember you

And I think that you remember me too

And maybe someday Jamie would be able to pass Casey in the street without feeling her heart sink, and without seeing Casey glare at her as she walked along with her new partner.

How can one of us still feel blessed when the other one's lost

Maybe for now Jamie will still feel horrible, and unable to love again, while Casey is flaunting a new partner every time she sees her. Maybe Jamie will never have a love like the one she did with Casey. But maybe she didn't want another person to treat her like Casey did. And so Jamie tried to heal the best she could, and eventually she could feel better.

//AN: Sorry that the ending is so shitty! I wasn't sure how to close it off, but I tried. Now please excuse me while I try to not have this song constantly in my head from listening to it for so long.