Murderville

One

"Clara, come on honey, its okay"

My mother was trying to calm me down after my annoying older brother had dragged me through a haunted house. I hated haunted houses. I went over to my mom; burying my face into her shoulder as my whole body trembled.

"Oh honey, it's okay. It's all fake, remember that, fake. None of it was real, just people dressed up."

I shook my head

"Ye-... yeh I guess so.."

I was still afraid of the clowns and other creatures I saw inside of the old haunted house. My brother, Jasper had ran off with his stupid friends, all trying to laugh off the fact that they were scared, although if you looked close enough, you could see their knees shaking ever so slightly. 

A single tear fell from my eye and splashed into the picture I was holding, with the picture came the memory of the haunted house.. and the carnival.. and.. my mom. It has been a year since she's been gone, and everyone says the pain will go away, and it'll get better, and all the bullshit. But let me tell you the truth, it doesn't get better, and the pain; oh man the pain is always there, nagging at you, reminding you that you're hurt beyond repair. Of course I missed my mother, and wished she was still here and not gone, but nothing could bring her back. Scientists can clone people, but they can't bring dead mothers back to life. I carefully wiped the tears off of the picture and slid it back into the box, as I was putting the picture back I saw my mom's necklace. I picked it up by it's silver chain and admired it as the sun hit it. It was a beautiful necklace, with a heart pendant, it opened up; showcasing a picture of my mom and dad, they looked so young, so happy, so full of love. I had almost forgotten what my dad's smile looked like, it's been so long. I closed the pendant and held it in my hand. The sound of some one clearing their throat had made me jump and I looked over to my door to see my dad standing there, emotionless, as he so often was.

"Are you ready?"

I looked down at the necklace, and put it into the box.

"I suppose."

I stood up and slowly walked to the door, I was dreading to do this, but I know my dad wanted to. And nowadays I do everything and anything to try and make him happy; I long to see him smile. Dad and I walked to the car side by side, but not saying a single word. There wasn't any words to say. Dad got into the car in the driver's seat and I got into the passenger seat, mom's seat. Mom always sat in the passenger seat. I smirked as I remembered her saying "shotgun" even though everyone knew she would say that, and would just let her sit there because there was no point in arguing with that woman, she would win.

The car ride was silent, and dad left the radio off, which made the whole situation worse.  He stopped the car and parked it outside of mom's favourite flower shop, he got out and a few moments came back out with a dozen white roses. Mom loved the white roses, she described them as fair  and elegant. A few minutes after we had arrived at the grave yard, there weren't many people here, just a few mourners mourning over their lost loved ones. Dad silently got out and I could see the tears swelling up in his eyes; knowing for a fact he wouldn't let them fall and when I got out and was by his side he would've blinked the tears away. Slowly, I got out of the car too, and took a deep breath before joining my dad at his side. And just as I thought, the tears that had visited his eyes as he was getting out, had been blinked away. We both walked towards the cemetery, I had memorized where mom's grave was by now, it was sad but I came here quite often. Though she might not be here, when I come here and sit on her grave, it feels like she's here, and it comforts me.

Dad and I got to mother's grave and just stood there, looking at her gravestone. "Sarah Gladstone, 1980-2016. 'loving mother, daughter and wife' 'Those we love don't go away, they simply walk beside us everyday' 

Finally dad broke the silence by saying

"She was a great woman, and didn't deserve what happened to her.."

"I know Dad"

After that he didn't say anything, he knelt down and put the flowers in her grave, he stayed down on his knees and put his hand on her grave stone; head looking down as he was mumbling something. I just stood there, remembering her and how it would feel for her to be here. If she were here, alive, we wouldn't be standing here, at her gravestone, tears in our eyes as we remember.

After awhile Dad stood up, made brief eye contact and made his way back to the car. I stood by her grave for a bit longer..

"Mommy, where's Grandma?"
"Grandma has gone hun"

"Where to mommy?"

In my chirpy voice, I walked back and forth in our tiny; yet cozy living room. Mommy was sitting on the couch, eyes all puffy from crying, I assumed. I wasn't too sure why Mommy was crying, all I knew was Grandma was gone and Mommy was sad.

Mom took a deep breath and closed her eyes,

"Come over here Hun."
I walked over to my Mommy and she held my hands in hers,

"Remember when your goldfish died? And Daddy and I explained to you that your goldfish had gone to sleep for a very long time, and he was dreaming of a very happy place; where he was surrounded with out goldfish and lots of food?"
I was confused as to why she was bringing a dead goldfish up, but I answered her,

"Yes Mommy, I remember that!"
She took yet another deep breath,

"Well Hun, Grandma was very sick, and she decided to go to sleep for a long time as well, now she's dreaming of a very beautiful place, where she's very happy."
"Well, can I go visit her? And tell her it's time to wake up, I miss her Mommy.."
Mommy then pulled me into her, really close, so close that I could hear her heart beating, slowly, but it was still beating. I could feel a drop of wetness on my shoulder, and then another, and yet another.. I soon realized the drops of wetness were coming from Mommy's eyes; and that was because Mommy was crying..

I blinked away the already falling tears as I looked up and realized that Dad was back at my side, and I had fallen down onto my Mom's grave. I was too ashamed to look up at him, he thinks I'm stronger than this, he thinks I'm okay, even though I'm not.

I felt a strong, firm; yet comforting hand fall onto my shoulder and I looked into my Dad's eyes. They were comforting, yet hard. I slowly stood up, and as I did so, I collapsed onto my Dad, and just let the tears fall. He put a hand on my back, comforting me. I knew he wanted to cry too, but he knew he had to be strong; for my sake.
"It's okay to cry dad.."
I managed to let out the words through sobs, he nodded, but did nothing more. We stood like that for a few more minutes before I took a deep breath; and stepped away from my Dad. I nodded at him; as though to tell him I was okay and we could go home now. He walked towards to car, waiting for me to start walking first though. And I did, I didn't want to go, but at the same time I did, being here didn't seem right. It had been a year, and it still doesn't feel real, I refuse to believe it happened. She's still here, and when we go home, she will be sitting in the living room, book in hand, reading glasses on. And when she sees us get through the door, she will stand up, and welcome us home; giving us each hugs and offering us something that she had baked while we were away.

But, that wasn't the cake, and when we returned home, Mom wasn't there, and we weren't welcomed by her and her hug. It was just us, Dad and I. Dad went straight into the living room, and I decided to go upstairs.

Technically, I should be at school right now, but since it's the 'one year since my Mom has been gone; I got excused. Slowly, I made my way up the stairs, and instead of going into my room, I walked straight passed it, and into my parents room. It had been a year and the room still smelt like her; like the smell of vanilla with the hint of gingerbread. I took a few steps into the room and walked around, I went over to her dresser. Everything was how she left it, when she left to go to the grocery store, thinking she would return, but little did she know, she wouldn't return. I took out one of her over sized T-shirts she would wear to bed, and I put it on over my clothes, I walked over to the bed. And ran my hand over the blankets, it was a lavender bed spread, Mom picked it out. I got up onto the bed; on her side, and layed down. Even the pillow still smelled like her.

Downstairs, I could hear the TV, Dad must have been watching a sport's game, which Mom would have loved to watch it with him. Slowly, the world faded out, and I was surrounded by my Mom and her sweet sweet smell..