Nikolai

I

"Shit, shit, shit," Nikolai murdered under his breath as the screaming and crying got louder and louder. He pushed the grocery cart a little harder. He wanted to get out of there as fast as he could before people started asking why a man was shopping for a baby, rather than its mother. He tried shushing it. No avail. The child continued to wail as if a knife had been shoved into its stomach, which, Nikolai had coincidentally done to its father only hours earlier.

He wasn't planning on finding a small baby after he had killed him.

The baby had any stopped crying to sleep once or twice, and at those moments Nikolai had taken the time to ask God why he hated him so.

He sighed and looked at the crying child. He patted its small head, its hair was still quite sparse.

"I do not even know if you are a boy or a girl," he smiled at it, "perhaps, I will call you a 'he' until I can find out for sure. Your name will be... Adam! How does that sound," he whispered. Adam had seemed to calm down profusely. He was no longer screaming. The crying, however, was still present.

"Jesus, are you hungry or something? What is wrong with you?"

A young woman tapped him on the shoulder. He whipped around and looked down at her, waiting for her to speak.

"I think your baby needs a change," she pointed at Adam, "I have an extra diaper in my bag, if you don't have one."

Nikolai did not even hesitate to accept her offer. She gave him the diaper and he thanked her many times before grabbing the baby and running to the bathroom. As soon as he entered, he realized that he would probably have to do this on the floor, as there was not enough room on the counter where the sinks were for him to change the child. He sighed and took off his jacket and laid it on the cold ground. He put Adam on the jacket and looked up at the ceiling.

"I am ruining a perfectly good jacket."

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He had finally arrived back at the motel his was currently staying at. He would move every two weeks or so, just to be safe. He set Adam down on the bed and pulled a rattle out of one of the grocery bags which he had just brought back from the store. The trip had been a pain in the ass, admittedly. He had no idea what to buy for the kid. He didn't even know how old he was. He opened the packaging and handed it to Adam, who then immediately started shaking it about. Nikolai sat down on the bed and pat the young boy's head gingerly.

"You are a good baby," his American accent was gone. He could finally relax. He got up and went into the bathroom. Taking a towel, he wet it under the faucet and began to wipe the makeup off of his face, revealing freckles that were scattered across his face like stars. He couldn't let something distinct like that give him away. He wore a polo neck whenever he went out as well, just so it would be harder for people to see the burn scar that ran up the left side of his neck. Nikolai sighed and tugged it off. He was very happy that it was cold in Alaska, or he would definitely not be able to wear it every day. He slipped on a wife beater and ran his fingers through his ebony hair. As he stood in the bathroom, he noticed that the rattling had stopped.

He walked into the main room and saw that Adam had fallen asleep. Nikolai smiled.

He looked absolutely precious.