Looking Back

Once Upon a Time

Looking back to where it all started
I was broken ,shattered into pieces
Once upon a time, I felt happiness because of him
But every once upon a time has an end
I didn't achieve my happily ever after
When I figured out that I was jsut being played by the past
I nearly gave up, thinking I could never move on
I gave up on hopes and I didn't expect something good to happen
I almost didn't believe on love until then... I found you
My initial plan to rest and be alone for a while didn't happen
But for a moment, I realized that I'm not alone,... grieving in pain
You were there for me, The person that I could tell everything I feel inside
Starting from my past to my challenges that I had overcomed
From my pains and scars and to my ways of moving on
The more you understood the more the conversation deepens
Whenever I talk to you, I always smile like an idiot
I still remember the feeling I felt everytime I talk to you
Something that's similar from what causes my heart to bleed in pain
or maybe... The opposite?
Are you just a stranger that I've met?
Are you just a friend comforting me in need?
Or... Are you someone that could heal my heart?
Yet, Im so afraid to feel that way again
Because of the storms it causes
It's like once you've been hurt
You're scared to get attached again
You have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart.
I get scared to let my guard down
Because of the fear of being hurt again

I told you that I would never like someone again
I would never fall inlove again
And that someone I refer is you
One day, i went crazy myself
I kept on daydreaming about us
I cried within, keeping it all to myself
A friend once told mo , The more you lock it inside of you , The more you will fall
Such negativities will never give me a positive life
I once gave up on my character and started to act stronger like a man
Acting like a girl with a personality of a guy.
I gave up on being a girl with a weakness
Love is a strange thing , It can make the weakest person strong and that made me who I am today

But you didn't ignore me of being who I am
You said you like short boyish girls
That made me smile and made my heart beat faster
And made us closer to each other
I'm so afraid to tell you what I fell about you
I'm afraid of ruining somethng important
I'm afraid of ruining our closeness, our friendship
I'm afraid of something that everyone fears
I'm afraid of rejection, I'm scared of taking the risk
even if all I was doing was admiring you
So i kept it between me and my thoughts locked up within
I ended up hurting myself, hurting myself without wounds
It's hard to pretend to be friends with someone special like you
Everytime I look at you , All I see is everything I want to have
Well, I know I needed you but I never showed
I knew I love you but you never know
I thought that keeping all of it will help me 

But it didn't do what I expected it'll do
I stopped hiding it anymore
I'm good at keeping secrets without being so obvious that I'm hurt
But secrets are meant to be and takes courage to be told
Till the day I did that last line I wrote
At the park, We sat at the rusty benches as the leaves fall
We kept our distances away from each other
We both looked blanky at the horizon
I may blew this moment If I was too damn shy
I couldn't open my mouth to let the words go out
Since words cant say how much I want you to be mine
I wished you could hear my voice inside
I wished that everything after this will be alright
Something pushed the button and I let it all out
I couldn't remember what I said but all I knew is that I secretly love you

But I guess it's not a secret anymore because you already knew
I thought I was rejected but I was redirected to something bettter
You gave me a chance
A chance that you could bring me back what I brought to you
A chance of liking me the way I liked you
or perhaps a chance of loving me the way I love you
I was about to ran away, I couldn't keep my cool
Butyou held my hand and whispered on my ear
"lets talk about this later"
I thought I would get a chance of getting hurt again
Inever thought thatthis would happen
"later" I'm glad that there would be another one
You talked to me like it was before
You still keep on telling me stories and we still laugh together
We still talked over the phone as the star dance at the night sky
We still talked over the phone as the sun rises in the morning

Our friendship and closeness isn't ruined like how I feared it would be
This was the best moment in my life I could ever imagine
With knowing that I confessed to you , you never leave me by my side
I just wished that the more you talk the more you will fall in love me
But I should not assum of something
Something that would make my heart shatter again
Im just enjoying and cherish the moment with you
I keep on putting out good and positive things
I knew it will come back to me tenfold in unexpected ways, perhaps
But, Never expect... Never assum... Never demand
Just let it be... Because if it's meant to be, It will happen the way It is meant to be
And then it happened
You confessed to me...

My world stopped out of the blue

As I saw the 3 words after my name

You said you want to know me more and accept who I am

You said you need me as I will need you

You said you like me as I like you

You said you love me as the way I love you

It did happened the way it was meant to be

With you, I'm comfortable

I know I can talk about anything or sit by your side in complete harmony

You saw me at my worst but only talks about my best

Just like a secret love song , You held my hand in The street as if you'll never let go

Just like a love story, You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess

Just like the wings of love, We'll fly together to our hearts content

Just like your love, It lights my whole world just like the sun

It flows down through my veins like how a river flows 

Just like believing in magic. We found each other in this world that's full of strangers
You love me for all that I am and all that I'm not
You are the one that could understand me better than myself
The one that truly cared for me
The one that would wrap me warmly with one of your passionate hugs
The one that would say how beautiful I am
The one that would descirbe me as yours
The one that would make me as their own top priority
The one that treats me like a princess
The one that makes my heart beat faster
The one that would fill the emptiness of my life like no one else can
The one that would stay late at night and say good night to me
The one that greets me " good morning" first thing in the morning
The one that would cry and be worried for me
The one who loves to see me smile and promises to make me laugh
The one who supports in my life

The one who'll stay for me and won't leave
The one who wont give up to make me happy
And the one that will love me until the end of time
It;s pretty crazy actually , How attached I've become to you and how far we've came since the day that it all started
I want to continue making memories wth you forever <3