THEORY: Club Penguin is out to get you
EVIDENCE:
Hydro Hopper - Why would they put so much trash in the water when there was a Recycling Center next to the Mine on Earth Day 2011? Also, why would they make a game out of it when there are METAL BUOYS IN THE WATER. That had to break at least two safety regulations (and my heart).
Smoothie Smasher (Survival) - Smoothie Smasher is a great game in my opinion...Until you get to the anvils and bombs that are purposely put on the conveyor belt. While you're fighting for your life, this happy ukellele music plays in the background. This is phycological warfare that they're messing with.
Smoothie Smasher (Original):
Like in Smoothie Smasher Survival Mode, you have to crush fruits using your feet (and sometimes your butt if you press "down" key). Not only is this highly unsanitary, but it is also dangerous to the player because they have to smash pineapples. They have to jump on the top of the pineapples!
Bean Counters - A very dangerous game of catching heavy bags of coffee beans and putting them on a small platform. Not only are coffee beans thrown at you, but large fish, anvils, and flower pots are thrown as well. THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL YOU.
Card-Jitsu: Fire - The object of the game is to outlast your opponent(s) while standing on rock slabs which just so happen to be floating ON BOILING LAVA. Club Penguin ffs.
Diss Card-Jitsu: Ice and I will cut you. Ice is my shit.
- Lousy State
YOU ARE READING
THEORIES
HumorTheories that will open your eyes and potentially save your life. Read this before the government comes me.
