Deeper (5SOS Ashton Irwin Fanfic)

Chapter 21

Lily’s POV:  

I slowly wake up, the Saturday sunlight shinning onto my sheets. Flipping onto my other side, I check my clock to see that its almost one in the afternoon.  

Sleep wasn’t my friend last night honestly. I couldn’t find the strength to close my eyes & let the drowsiness over take me. My thoughts still swam the uncomfortable position I was in the hours before with Ashton. But finally, exhaustion won me over & I got my much needed sleep.  

I hop out of bed & my feet hit the plush carpet below me. With a sigh I grab my phone from the side table & turn it on. Opening my door, I pad down the steps as my phone powers to life. When I finally reach the kitchen, I find a few texts from Ainsley just saying how much fun she’d had. As much as I need my best friend to be there for me in this time, I don’t wanna ruin her good vibes.  

Making myself a grilled cheese, I fish Dorothy from her crate & pour her some food. She nibbles it as I sit down on my couch & click the tv on, phone in my hand. It’s already about 3 in the afternoon, so I shoot Ashton a text:  

hi x  

To my surprise, he responds immediately:  

good morning x  

With a slight grin on my face, I type in a reply:  

technically its afternoon but ill let it slide bc you’re cute (;  

I place my phone in my lap as my puppy pads into the living room. Hopping up on the couch, she nuzzles into my thigh & drifts off once again. When Ash doesn’t respond, I just focus my attention on the tv show in front of me. I quickly realize that its Friends, & laughs begin to escape me as I calm down a bit. My muscles loosen up & my heart rate slows down a bit. It’s not until 30 minutes later does Ashton respond:  

shut up, if anyones cute its you ;)  

Giggling a bit, I continue the conversation. We just aimlessly chat for a bit as the sun outside the window in my living room dips behind the clouds. Before I know it, it’s 7 at night. Placing Dorothy in her crate, I grab a granola bar for dinner & head back upstairs to my room.   

When I enter my room, it hits me that I’m going to be meeting one of the most important people in Ashton’s life in less than 24 hours. What should I wear? I mean, its just a play so nothing too fancy right? Questioning myself, I ask Ashton:  

hey, for the play tomorrow, what should i wear???  

While I wait for his response, I walk into my closet & scan over my clothes. I don’t want to show too much skin, but I still want to look pretty. Taking hangers off & putting them back on repeatedly, he finally responds:  

just be yourself babe, al won’t mind. wear something you’d wear everyday   

Well thanks for narrowing down my options, Irwin.  

With a huff I grab a pair of leggings off of a hanger. They’re red with a black bohemian design falling down the sides. I put those off to the side & hunt for a top. After debating for 30 minutes, I decide on a white tank top with a navy chest pocket. I wipe imaginary sweat off my forehead & place the garments on the floor in front of my bed. I’ll top off the outfit with my white converse. My hands grab my phone & I plop onto my bed, falling back into conversation with him. Soon, Ainsley texts me, & I begin to chat with her. She invites Ashton & I to the mall tomorrow with her & Luke, but I politely decline & tell her we have other plans. She wishes us fun & I go to get ready for bed.  

I swipe off my makeup & throw my hair up in a high pony tail. Some shorts & a tshirt are what I decide to wear for bed. It’s not late, but I’m still thoroughly exhausted from everything thats happened in the past day or so. Just as I’m about to put my sheets over my body, my phone buzzes. It’s a call from Ashton.   “Well hello there,” I say chirpily, smile plastered on my face.  

“Hey hey hey, how ya doin’?” he asks. I lay down on my bed & stroke my hair with one hand with the other grasps the phone. As I’m on my stomach, I wrap my ankles around each other in the air behind me & answer him.  

“I’m quite good, yourself?”   

“Pretty good. Alice is fucking pumped for tomorrow”   I laugh, just imagining her bouncing up & down. Letting my mind wander for a second, I wonder if she looks like him. Brown curls, deep dimples, piercing hazel eyes. I shake myself out of my thoughts & respond.  

“So am I! I bet she’ll be great.”  

“Yeah she will. Now, just warning you, she likes to talk so don’t be alarmed if she talks your arm off.” Ashton states. This catches me off guard. One of the most antisocial people I know has a talkative sister? Odd. I can’t imagine her being anything like him anymore.  

“Hey its alright! I know I’ll love her.” I state confidently. I hear a sigh on the other line & some muffling. He’s quite for a few seconds, but finally I hear his strained voice.  

“Yeah, yeah you will. Alice is one of a kind. She’s so caring, outgoing, confident & beautiful. I wish I could give her everything she could ever want & more because she’s just absolutely incredible,” he begins. I hear some more muffling & realize how big of a smile is stained on my face. “I don’t even think she realizes how bad we have it, she just acts like this is regular & okay. I admire her so much for that. Which is weird, a little sister should admire her big brother & not vise versa.” He ends, his voice lowering on the last sentence. I want so badly to comfort him, so I try my best.  

“Not necessarily. Sometimes little kids teach us more than any other adult could,” I can almost hear him shake his head & chuckle.  

“Yeah but - I don’t know. I guess I wish I could be better for her,”  

“All you need to be is you. I promise it’ll be more than enough for Alice,” I respond immediately without even thinking. There’s air on the line for a second as I hold my breath. I really need to think before I speak.   Finally, his voice cuts through.  

“Thank you Lil. I’m gonna get some sleep, you should too.” he almost whispers. I nod my head & tell him goodnight. As I hang up, I plop back onto my back, hair sprawled out above my head. My eyes close & I imagine tomorrow. Making a good first impression on her is so important to me, I mean she is the light of Ash’s life apparently. I just hope I don’t blow it.  

I flick my lamp light off & shut my weary eyes. My hearts already bounding & it isn’t even tomorrow. I hope Ashton will be enough to calm my nerves.