An Endearing Summer

Chapter 1

When I was younger I dreamed of happily ever after.

I didn’t know how I would get there; I was far too little to worry about details, but somehow I always knew I would. I had expectations, plans, and reveries of a future that was dyed bright colors, and filled with beautiful memories. It’s probably a standard child thing though, so you most likely know what I mean when I say I never, ever, thought I could possibly be so miserable. The very idea that darkness lied down the road for me at that age was pushed away from my thoughts as pure and utter stupidity, but there I was at age 17 standing in front of what I guess was then my ex-boyfriend completely and totally despondent.

“Could you please repeat that?” I asked an age of bitterness lining my normally sing-song voice.  At that moment my heart seemed to have had a gigantic knife shoved harshly into it, and the shroud of anger and sadness that had left me for a while during our relationship was covering me completely. I almost couldn’t see straight. The man I had adored sighed in an aggravated tone and rubbed the top of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. His tail tale sign that he was just so agitated, he didn’t know what to say. Before then it had never been used on me.

“Skye you heard me,” he began in an accusing tone, “I said we’re over.” How could it be that freaking simple to him?

“Why? What could I have possibly done? I did everything for you!” I spat out, my voice slowly rising, anger out doing my shear shock. He looked at me as if I was stupid, his fine eyebrows scrunching together, and his mouth hanging low enough to catch flies.

“Everything my ass!” he yelled back. He acted like I was such a terrible girlfriend, and as I quickly searched my memory banks I only found examples of me being an amazing girlfriend. No he wouldn’t turn this around on me; I had every right to be mad.

“What! What didn’t I do?” I screeched, letting my emotions over take my small pale face, and throwing my finger venomously into his chest.

“You didn’t let me do you!” he forced out as if it was the right in front of my face. We sat there silently, my bright blue eyes as wide as saucers, and his face harshly set.

“That’s it?” I questioned, disbelief dripping into my tone. His face finally softened, and he looked away with a huff.

“We’ve been together 7 months, and I’ve gotten nothing. I’m done waiting.” He began softly,” sorry.” He added as he walked away. I tried to say something but for once I was at a loss for words. Maybe it was because I was just a cocktail of feelings, so unable to decide anything my throat just closed up, and I just watched him turn the corner as he left me, distraught and alone in our school after hours.

I don’t know how long I stood there feeling the familiar somber air of days past fill my surroundings and trying to collect my thoughts but by the time I had sobered up I could hear the loud disarming sounds of rain crashing into the window behind me. I knew I had to move, get downstairs to were my mom could pick me up at 4 like we agreed, so I let my body drag me there. I slowly walked finding the front door with ease and tumbling toward the first bench that was covered from the storm by the schools extending roof.

The shock was wearing off, but all the other feelings were still there and very raw, ready to explode somewhere. I had to come up with something, a solution to these issues I was having if I could, so I began thinking threw what had happened for the first time.

For starters, I had just been dumped by Kyle, my boyfriend of 7 months who had lifted me from the cover of problems I’d been having and showed me better days. Kyle, who I had thought was a prince, was actually a giant douche who only liked me for my body. I had been tricked, played for a fool. I had thought I had been so careful when I decided to go out with Kyle, that he was truly a nice guy and wouldn’t hurt me like he had ultimately done. I was wrong, and could sense humiliation being added to the growing lists of harmful feelings I was currently feeling. I had no prince, I had nothing. I didn’t even have a mother that would feel sorry for me, because I had failed once more. It would be my fault, he wanted sex? I should have given it to him, what was the big deal? Kyle was a fine man who would take me places, how dare I let him go!