How do you wake up, and keep going? What if I could stop it all, I wonder each day. The falsified truths cannot comfort me any more. Loneliness comforts me like an old friend, it's arms holding me tight within the grasp of reality. My own happiness is formed from frozen faces, their eyes blank and lifeless without my existence. Without me, they would be nothing. Without my soul within you, you would be pointless. How does one love oneself realizing there is very few living beings you can converse with who will understand your existence as deeply as you do?
You listen so attentively when we are discussing the reality and the parts of it that just don't feel right. I feel happy, with a 'friend' by my side. So we keep on going, and when I can't remember what it feels like to be real, I watch you fight your own existence and struggle within as you try to form your own identity as a young adult. Who are you inside, and what do you want to be? I remember the same struggle, every moment is a chance for us to be destroyed. There is no safety net, and you and I both know it. It's less terrifying than most realize, but it makes you grow up alot faster than any of the children who play in the villages will have to.
I see myself in the mirror, and for a moment, recognition is impossible. Where did the child go? When did I lose him? I struggle with that thought occasionally, and I don't know what to say when you asked me why. Why do I want my art to last forever? I can't imagine what my answer would be. Do I dare say, "Simply because it deserves it" or do i peel back the flesh, and bare myself? Do I look inside myself and find the true answer? Or Do I breathe in your question and ignore it with a careless shrug?
I don't even know.
